Shyah...Right

I saw this ad in the bathroom at yet another local bar. What made me chuckle was the line second from the bottom. The one asking patrons to photograph the poster to get some pittance off the first class.

I don't know about anyone else, but I (normally) would never even think of pulling a camera out in the men's restroom. I know I did here, but it was because I happened to be the only one in there at the time. Which is why the photo isn't that good. I grabbed my cell phone and snapped before anyone could walk in, and I still feel uncomfortable with it.

I'm sure that it's a great way to learn kickboxing and such. However, if it's after you get your ass kicked for taking a picture near another man at the urinals, it's a little too late. It's certainly not worth the $20 or so they're offering.

Although part of me wonders, where does this rate in the list of men's room ettiquette? I'm thinking somewhere between selecting the correct urinal and "No talking"...

Ah, Phobias

I can't remember where I saw this, but this seems a bit overboard to me.

I get having antigerm stuff at the sink, or even at the door. But are there SO many people afraid of the toilet that a dispenser is necessary at the toilet itself?

On the other hand, I've seem WAY too many people walk out of the bathrooms without washing their hands. I suppose the more exposure we can get these people the better...

Purloiner PSA

My wife and I moved this weekend and one of the first things I wanted to do was change the locks. So we went to Home Depot to check them out. We decided to get the locks to the right (I know it's a bad picture but they're Masterlock's "Smart Key Locks"). We chose that particular lock because it can be reset by the user, no locksmith required. Sounds great right? Well, not so much - at least not if you want to actually secure your home.

I was thinking that you'd program the new lock internally, meaning the lock would have to be removed from the door and taken apart. Wrong. At the top of the directions, in bold lettering is "Install lock in door before training lock to key." At this point I assumed that the retraining must be done from the inner knob. Again, wrong.

No, to retrain this brilliance in engineering, you insert the key you'd like to work in the lock, then insert a little "smart key". This "smart key" is nothing more than a bent piece of sheet metal that slides alongside the new key. Voila! The lock is now retrained to whatever key you have and will now open the lock. Basically all a half intelligent thief has to do is spend $30 on one of these Smart Locks, take the "smart key" out and have a go!

Brilliant!

Addendum: So I was wrong - turns out the lock has to be unlocked first to re-train it. I'm still not entirely sure I'd feel safe with it though...

Customer Quote of the Month - December

Me to a man dressed in motorcycle gear, "Afternoon. What can I do for you?"

MDiMG, "I'm looking for a mask and stuff. You know, stuff to snorkel in."

Me, "Ok, right over here." I proceed to explain the gear.

About 45 minutes later after I had answered all his questions and picked out gear that fit him well. I ask, "That should pretty much do it. Is there anything else you need today?"

MDiMG, "Oh, I'm not getting anything here. I'm ordering it online. I just needed to try it all on. Thanks!"

It took every ounce of my willpower to not kick the SOB in the junk. I understand getting information, but really? Ignoring that we're partially on commission, wouldn't you think that an employee would want to make a sale for the small business he works for? Would you go to a restaraunt, sit down and ask the waiter about all the items on the menu and then say, "Thanks - the chicken pasta sound good. I'm going to go home and make it right now!"?!?

I am also aware that this probably happens all the time, and I get it. The internet is cheaper for a lot of things. But to have the balls to waste someone's time and then tell them outright that you did it intentionally?

Urge to kill rising....

Now in HD

I've decided that I'm going to start working on making this blog Hi Def. I have no idea how yet, but everything else is going that way so I might as well jump on the bandwagon too. HDTV and DVDs started it all, with radio following right behind.

This morning I saw a news story on the latest in liposuction surgery. Even liposuction is now jumping aboard the HD ship. That's right, hi def liposuction.

WTF? Do these doctors really think that adding a buzzword will make it sell better? I will admit however, it certainly doesn't sound like their using a vacuum on your ass.

And along those lines, I can't wait to get a Hi Def haircut...

Addendum:

Oooo Hi def magnets!

Bet you can't take just one

Lately I've noticed a another disturbing trend in drug commercials ads. Apparently getting people to take one drug for each "malady" just isn't enough. Tonight, during an hour long program, I saw two different ads for drugs to fix problems not already being fixed by the first drug.

I would think if a drug isn't taking care of whatever issue someone may have, they would stop taking it and try something else. I can't imagine adding another drug, with it's own side effects, would be the answer. I also can't believe a doctor would allow this either. I thought the "do no harm" thing was taken pretty seriously.

On the other hand, with the millions that Big Pharm dedicate to buying doctors, I can see the Hippocratic Oath going out the window. Apparently "oath" doesn't mean what it used to, if it ever did. Of course Big Pharm doesn't really care about our health, just the bottom line.

Here's hoping our new executive wunderkind can see this problem when he "fixes" our health care...

Customer Quote of the Month - November

A customer walks in with her 4 year old son, who happens to be wearing Batman gloves.

Coworker to Batman Gloved Tyke, "You like Batman huh?"

BGT, "Yeah, he's cool. But not as cool as Spiderman. See Spiderman's the goodguy and Batman's the badguy.

Coworker, "Really? Why's that?"

BGT, "They fight over the girls."

Coworker, "Why would want to fight over girls. Don't they have cooties?"

BGT, "Yeah they do." BGT then leans in and whispers, "But they also have BOOBS!"