Mourning the death of originality.

Earlier this month, Universal announced plans to turn the 80s classic arcade game Asteroids into a feature length film.

This could be pretty good as long as the movie stay true to the plot. The classic quest of a tiny Italian spaceship, working his way through field after field of space rocks to save his beloved princess-ship while collecting as many coins as possible, has to be done just right.

WTF!?

Hey Hollywood, I can come up with better movie plots than this at a fraction of the price! I have a guaranteed hit about a man in a space suit that digs under the ground, looking for alien tomatoes and newts that are threatening to destroy the world's supply of ketchup unless he inflates them to the point of bursting with a bicycle pump.

Or how about my gut busting comedy about the crew of a space ship that is constantly attacked by a race of space bugs? The crew's antics peak when one of their mates is captured by the biggest bug and hilarity ensues. Fortunately, the friend is saved and they join ships to defeat the evil space wasps.

I'll expect my check in the mail. A cool million should cover the cost of both.

You're welcome.