Too Subtle?

Found this urinal the other day:



I'm not sure if it's trying to be phallic or just pointing to where I should pee, or both...

Hungry Blasphemy

A local Church sign last night:

The hell? I almost want to go to this church to see what the frak they're going to talk about. GREAT Rock Band name too...

Misfortune Cookies

I once had a "friend" who thought it would be funny to make a bunch of fortune cookies with bad advice and horrible futures instead of the uplifting kind. I got this in my fortune cookie tonight:

Looks like she got her wish. Figures I'd get one of the first...

More Nightmarish Movies

At long last I've almost finished the Horrorfest. Over all, I can honestly say that I'm just fine missing this year's run of horror movies.

Nighmare Man wasn't horrible, it just wasn't good. Some of the dialogue was actually decent, but the over all movie kinda blew. It almost seemed as if the makers were trying to make a movie like Scream, one that pokes fun at horror movies in general, but didn't know how. Where Scream was a fun movie, this one bored me to tears. The movie has your standard "look at this pretty mask I found, it summons demons. Isn't it pretty?" plotline. Throw in some late night Cinemax aspects and you have a movie "unfit for general release". Not that this is really the case. Yet again the only reason I can see for this movie not being released is that it's just not good enough.

Tooth and Nail is about a post apocalyptic band of survivors running from a group of cannibals. Again nothing real redeeming here. Bad acting, bad scripting, cheesey special effects all lead to a crap movie. The best part is that it's only 90 minutes long, a tad less with strategic fast forwarding. It's a sad thing when you turn off the movie and find yourself glad that Robocop is on. Here I thought Nightmare Man was boring.

If I didn't only have one movie left I would throw the towel in...

Fortunes and Debauchery

Well, we're back from Vegas. Dr Heimlich summed up the best part of the trip quite well, so I won't go into that too much. Except maybe to add that that insane winning experience totally jaded me with any other winnings I had (which were few and far between). Every victory, including decent poker winnings and other craps winning, felt hollow. Fun, but hollow.

I should also mention that the leader of the pack (the bachelor) went on that night to place $20 on a roulette table and win $350, Win $130 in penny slots ,won a $100 hand of blackjack and also walked away a winner at a $25 craps table (though a small winner). I'll refrain from any jokes about it being the last time he'll get lucky multiple times in one night.

My first night there was...eventful. Let's just say most of the night is a blur, up till I awoke at 5 am on the bathroom floor by the toilet - at least I made it back to the correct room. Poor DrH had every reason that night to kick me out and make me sleep in the hallway...

This picture pretty well sums up the first night:

Yeah...There were ugly moments., but a lot of good ones too. At least that's what I'm told...

More "horror"

After finishing Borderlands, the next movie on my list of the Horrorfest, I'm happy to report that my expectations have been met, mostly. Third times a charm? This film actually has fairly disturbing moments, and is just generally creepy. This is most likely due to the fact that it's based on true events in Mexico in 1989. A drug cartel became involved in the occult, believing that human sacrifice would help with their operation by making them invisible and invincible.

Anyway, with the disturbing images and overall uneasiness the film causes, I can see why it belongs on this "too gruesome for release" list.

Lake Dead definitely has a few moments of frakked up scenes and also belongs on this list. Unfortunately, the movie blows goats. Take a little Jason Meyers, add a dash of The Hills Have Eyes stir in some incest and voila! You've got a Horrorfest movie, just not a good one.

Unfortunately this movie has nothing really new, poor acting and below average writing - miss it.

Unearthed wasn't quite as bad, but had no real redeeming factors either. Add to that the total lack of gruesomeness and it's a definite wast of time, though the main actor is pretty hot.

Not that that's a reason to waste 2 hours, usually...

Targeting Cups

For the last year or so, every time I've been in a Super Target, I've found an empty Starbucks cup lying on a shelf somewhere in the store. On one hand it makes me chuckle because it's been so consistent. On the other it's sad that people are this frelling lazy.

Anyway, it's become a game now. Who can find it first?


Try it, I guarantee you'll see them too.

Vegas baby!

Today I'm off to Vegas for the first time in over ten years. I'm sure I won't recognize anything, but it should still be fun.

Other than going out for a friend's semi-bachelor party, I have no idea what we'll do. I don't plan on gambling too much. The only game I'd probably play is poker, which I'd be playing with DrHeimlich. So basically I'll probably just save some time and hand him my money on the plan there.

I'm a tad afraid of the first evening we're there. You see, a couple of the servers that work at our regular beer night hangout will be there. Since they're both young and partiers, I'm seriously worried about getting alcohol poisoning within about 4 hours of landing.

So other than being broke, and hung over it should be fun, and at least I might be able to see the Vegas Hospital...

Subtitles and design elements

The other night I happened to be watching CSI:Miami, why I'm not real sure.

Anyway, they were interviewing a Cuban immigrant who was speaking Spanish. The producers subtitled it in a way that required a comment.

The words were moving around the screen, with some of them growing while others shrank. It was the strangest thing I've seen in a while and seemed to serve no purpose. At first I thought it may be hints to the rest of the investigation, but I don't think so.

I can only assume it was a "design element" and the damned director/producer thought it looked edgy. I can only assume I'll soon get a lame ass comment from a subtitle "expert"...

Bloxy with Moxy

A few weeks ago I picked up a Wii game called Boom Blox. It's a quirky little game that was created by EA and, of all people, Steven Spielberg.

In theory, its a simple puzzle game. These simple puzzles though, quickly become surprisingly challenging (at least to get the gold star on). Because of this hidden challenge, the game is also surprisingly addictive. There are a few different types of puzzles. Levels involve shooting, Jenga-like puzzles, and ball throwing. The shooting levels are a tad boring, and aren't exactly flawless in funtion -especially with multiplayer. The Jenga levels are exactly that - Jenga. While these are a lot of fun, the throwing levels are the most fun. Basically there is a stack of blox that you must knock down with as few throws as possible. Some involve exploding blox, some vanishing blox, and others have "chemical" blox that only explode when in contact with each other. All of which add an interesting twist to an already eccentric game.

While single player is fun, the game doesn't really shine until you're playing it with others. Multiplayer levels offer both co-op and vs modes, and both are a blast. When playing with my friends, the favorite seems to be the castle mode. Each player has a castle that the others are trying to demolish with thrown baseballs. Think Warlords for the Wii.

This isn't to say that multiplayer coop mode isn't just as fun. Here the mode du jour seems to be the Jenga mode. The night we all tried it out, the sound of "ooo's", "aah's" and spirited screaming for the stack to stay upright could be heard around the block.

The game is easy to pick up and start playing and the Wiimote lends itself well to both the throwing balls and pulling blox (just don't try to pull towards yourself). Shooting is another story, single player works well but there seemed to be a lot of lag with multiplayer. It's possible, though that this is due to the setup at my house and not the game.

Bottom line, I can't recommend this game enough. It's good for everyone, from hardcore gamer to grandmas. While Wii Fit get's more of my time right now, Boom Blox is easily my favorite Wii game at the moment.

MVPs wear stripes

Well the Red Wings just won the Stanley Cup, and I have two things to say.

It's good to own the refs. The referees in this series did everything in their power to assist the Red Wings. I certainly hope that the league gives credit where it's due and includes the names of the referees to the cup along with the players'. That's not to say the Wings didn't play well, but I think the Penguins would have had a better time of it without the crappy one sided referee calls.

Secondly, the only reason they won tonight was pure frakking luck. The Wings' third goal was a fluke, and they knew it. Of course it still counted, but there was no skill on that shot. Add to that the lack of luck of the final Penguins' shot (that came within a fraction of an inch to tying the goal), and the Wings were blessed tonight.

Basically,

RED WINGS SUCK

"Truth" in review

"Metal Gear Solid 4" is due to be released soon (June 12 for those keeping track), and Konami has joined other publishers that have "asked" reviewers to omit certain details. Some reviewers have been asked to publish favorable reviews early, while asking negative reviewers to hold off after release date.

Konami has recently joined the ranks of the questionable by asking reviewers to not mention certain details of the game. While some of these things are understandable, certain character appearences and plot lines, some are not. Konami has asked that the mandatory system installation for the PS3 version not be mentioned, something that should be available to anyone who's thinking of buying this game. Also, Konami is requesting no one mention the excessive length of the cutscenes. Reportedly, some of the cutscenes are 90 minutes long!!

While I'm all for having a good storyline, 90 minutes? So you play for an hour or so, then are stuck watching a feature length scene before being able to play again? That's ri-god-damned-diculous. Possibly even more ridiculouos than editing reviewer before they've published they actual review.

Customer Quote of the Month - May

Me greeting a woman that just walked into the shop, "Hey there, what can we do for you?"

TtjWitS, "I'm meeting someone here in a few minutes. She's going to sell me her old gear. You don't mind helping me make sure it's a good deal do you?"

Me, "Umm....does it say 'Flea Market' on the door?"

OK, I didn't really say that, but I wanted to. What the hell? Would you arrange to meet someone at Best Buy to sell them your old TV?

Keeping Terror Alive

Recently news sites around the world have been posting this picture, claiming it is Al-Qaeda propaganda. Dailymail.com posted this site claiming, "This is the apocalyptic scene terrorists hope to create if they ever get their hands on a nuclear bomb... posted on an Islamic extremists' website yesterday,"

According to them, this site has been posted on terrorist websites showing what they view for our future. Yeah, nice journalistic research. This picture is from the upcoming video game, Fallout 3.

I wonder what terror level Destroy All Humans caused...