Literal Idiocy

Taking "No shirt, No shoes, No service" a bit too far:



I would have loved to hear the cops' response, if they had been called...

Parenthood

I knew having a dog was good preparation for having kids. (potentially NSFW for a little language at the end)

Baby from summer of tears on Vimeo.

You wanna play catch?!

From the Road

This last week I was in Michigan so that in-laws can meet the new kiddo. Sounds fun right? I was going to post daily about the trip, but that became a bit...tedious. instead I decided to sum it all up in one post. Aren't you excited?

Day One: After sleeping till 11 (Aunt watched Beemer in the morning), read the XKCD comics (500+ of the frakking things) and had marshmallow and pistachio pudding pie (Why? Right now I have no idea)

Day Two: Spent an hour and a half on the "Denver pop culture" thread at Boingboing. Started to read Penny Arcade.

Day Three: Finished Penny Arcade (they've been doing webcomics for 10 frakking years!) then found the Oddtodd has new stuff!

Day Four: Lost in the virtual wasteland that is Youtube. Then drove to Grand Rapids.

Day Five: Toured my father-in-law's slot machine factory - pretty damn cool. I realized that I need a computer controlled 10000 watt laser cutter. Took a nap.

Day Six: Last Day! Thanks to a friend, read some of the Ctrl+Alt+Del comics. I Then played online poker for a few hours. Most of the day was spent dealing with a fussy child, I think he's ready to go home now too. Or it could be the Oreo blizzard he tried last night. Finished off the day watching Unskippable.

Thank the gods for the internet, and broadband, and being home...

Baby Tales

Last week I was running out the door and as I grabbed the kid, I noticed he needed a diaper change badly. Since I was already late (imagine that), I changed his dirty diaper in world record time.

Since I had done such a good job of changing him quickly, it would have been a shame to waste time washing my hands. Instead I grabbed a sani-wipe and wiped my hands clean and minutes later we were pulling out of the garage, a little late, but full of pride at my achievement.

About 5 miles down the road, it smelled like Beemer had made another dirty diaper. Sigh. However, after giving it more thought I realized that I was wrong. He wasn't the dirty one. In my haste I had gotten quite a lot of baby poo on my right hand and in my delight I had missed wiping it away.

Of course the only wipes I have are in the diaper bag, in the back. Do I have any napkins? Nope. Kleenex? Nope. Even if I did, I would just wipe the obvious stuff off, not really clean my hand. I shrugged and drove on, planning on cleaning my hands as soon as I could (being careful of what I touched - my Pepsi for one).

It's about here I realized what a mental shift parenthood brings. Before Beemer, I'm pretty sure I would have pulled over immediately and used whatever was at hand to wipe it off; grass, the car registration, my soon-to-be-roadside-trash tee shirt, ANYTHING. Of course, before Beemer I'm fairly certain I wouldn't have had poop on my hands at all, probably.

It's truly a magical time...

Sleepless babies and dead dogs

The last few nights, B-Mac as decided that night time is most definitely not the time to sleep. He is clearly exhausted, but is too stubborn to admit it (a trait he obviously gets from his mother, BTW). Each night has taken 2 - 3 hours to get the little bugger to sleep. He'll doze just long enough for us to walk out of the room and he's wide awake again - sigh.

Anyway, last night I had just gotten him to stay asleep (after about 2 1/2 hours of coaxing) and it actually looked like he would stay that way. I laid his sleeping form into his crib and turned around to see the dog standing behind me wagging his tail, with an almost mischevious doggie smile. I swear he winked at me! The damned mutt then proceeded to shake his head violently, producing a huge clatter of dog tags. B-Mac was awake yet again.

I now have a lovely Australian Shepherd pelt for sale, CHEAP!