To Tom-Tom listen you must

This just may be worth getting a Tom-Tom unit:



Or for a set of directions to the dark side of GPS, the Vader Tom-Tom voice.

The Force is Weak

I'll state it for the record here and now; "I will never purchase a game on release date ever again (except maybe for Starcraft 2)." Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I've been working on my thoughts on Force Unleashed on the Wii. Unfortunately that charismatic, stallion-esque bastard Yahtzee beat me to it, but so be it.

On first impression I was pleasantly surprised to find the graphics weren't horrible, as I was led to believe the Wii version would be. Granted I'm sure it wasn't as eye popping as the PS3 or 360 version, but the game play seemed to make up for it. I (like Yahtzee) felt that a lighsaber game is what the Wii was made for right?

However, it turns out the SW:TFU (an unfortunate abbreviation, thanks Heimlich) is a lightsaber game that doesn't use the lightsaber. It's actually easier to use your Force powers and leave the lighsaber part alone. The lightsaber combat is actually quite irritating. Combining bad controls with the character's annoying habit of pausing in a cool pose after every frakking swing makes this Walrus a very angry pinniped. My vision of lightsaber duels comes from Return of the Jedi and even the Phantom Menace, blurringly fast attacks and parries. Not so here, Galen seems to assume that one swing is enough and the impressive pose will strike armor wetting fear into the remaining enemies. Maybe it's just part of the Sith training. Apparently the cool-lightsaber-brandishing-pose is the first thing taught to young dark side apprentices, and must be mastered before the whole lightning and choking thing.

In any case, this led me to stop using the lightsaber at all, and turn instead to the force powers. While there are a ton of different powers, the most used are the force-push and lightning. All the others rely on certain motions with the Wiimote and don't always work. So you're left walking through level after level picking enemies up and throwing them against the wall, with the occasional lightning attack thrown in. It get's kinda boring.

As far as the "new levels available only on the Wii" (like the Jedi Temple), they're great - the first time. Unfortunately I have been back to the Temple about 5 times now, and each time it's exactly the same fight. I know storm troopers aren't known for their intelligence, but after being thrown into the ceiling the for the second time I would call in sick.

Finally, the in game camera. Words can't describe how much usually I hate third person games because of the frelling camera. This game is a perfect example of how bad game cameras can be. If you're not being attacked by something just offscreen, you're running into something that explodes. To make matters worse, occasionally enemies respawn in a corridor you just cleared. It got to the point where I could only play for about 15 minutes before I was forced to turn off the game and walk away, ensuring my TV screen remained Wiimote free.

Bottom line is I would skip this, or borrow it from some poor sap that did get it. While the storyline seems decent, it's simply not worth the alternating aggravation and boredom of this version. Just another reason I wish Lucas would die in molten, liquid-hot magma.

Gods I miss Firefly...

The Force is still strong.

The other day I was walking through a local Target and walked by a little boy that was humming the Star Wars theme. He then ran around the corner making lightsaber sounds.

While I'll be one of the first to admit that Lucas did a very poor job with the prequels, I still find it pretty cool that there are children today that still are obsessed with the Star Wars movies. I know I was sure that I could float things with my mind if I only focused hard enough. I too vowed that one day, I would own a real lightsaber.

I probably shouldn't admit this, but somewhere, there's a tiny little boy left in me that didn't totally hate the new movies. Were they horribly written? Yep. Should Lucas have had someone else direct? Absolutely, but I think they did the job of winning a new generation to the Alliance and that's kinda cool to me.

Fortunately no one reads this blog, so I don't have to worry about too much backlash for that. Plus I'm happy to announce that the new Indy movie was fun and didn't suck at all...

Suck it George

Thanks to my enabler Ash for this link:

It's a Star Wars fan movie that puts Lucas to shame (not that he has any).



Here's the link to the original movie without subtitles. If you want to see the rest of Volume I with subtitles, youtube them or get them here.

From Cloud City to Earth's orbit

Today, Luke Skywalker's lightsaber will be handed over to NASA to be sent to space.

The lightsaber prop used in Star Wars is to be aboard the Space Shuttle Discovery when it launches in October.

The "joint announcement from Lucasfilm, the Space Center Houston and Southwest Airlines on Aug. 27" also stated that the weapon will be handed to Nasa officials by Chewbacca, some stormtroopers and "other Star Wars characters".

Pardon me, but wtf does Southwest Airlines have to do with this?

Anyway, this is both a cool thing to the small remaining part of me that hasn't been smothered by Lucas. While at the same time I have to wonder, is this what we've reduced the shuttle missions to? I mean I'm sure there are other events/research/etc. things happening on this mission, but does NASA really need a publicity stunt like this?

Though I still have to ask what the frak Southwest has to do with the whole thing. I also wonder if they'll have a severed hand attached to it...

Use the Force My Young PadaWii

Fellow Jedi wannabes rejoice! There are rumors (mind you, rumors) of a Lightsaber game coming to the Wii.

According to gamestooge.com, LucasArts announced a lightsaber game on the Wii.

If done well (puhleez don't screw it up), it could easily be one of the best selling games on the console. Show me an original fan that hasn't played with a cardboard tube as a lightsaber? If a crappy piece of cardboard will entertain us, how much cooler would this be?


Of course I'm a little biased, I love anything Star Wars (alright anything pre-1999 Star Wars). Especially video games in the SW 'Verse.



Hell, my favorite Atari 2600 game was Jedi Arena...