The Force is Weak

I'll state it for the record here and now; "I will never purchase a game on release date ever again (except maybe for Starcraft 2)." Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I've been working on my thoughts on Force Unleashed on the Wii. Unfortunately that charismatic, stallion-esque bastard Yahtzee beat me to it, but so be it.

On first impression I was pleasantly surprised to find the graphics weren't horrible, as I was led to believe the Wii version would be. Granted I'm sure it wasn't as eye popping as the PS3 or 360 version, but the game play seemed to make up for it. I (like Yahtzee) felt that a lighsaber game is what the Wii was made for right?

However, it turns out the SW:TFU (an unfortunate abbreviation, thanks Heimlich) is a lightsaber game that doesn't use the lightsaber. It's actually easier to use your Force powers and leave the lighsaber part alone. The lightsaber combat is actually quite irritating. Combining bad controls with the character's annoying habit of pausing in a cool pose after every frakking swing makes this Walrus a very angry pinniped. My vision of lightsaber duels comes from Return of the Jedi and even the Phantom Menace, blurringly fast attacks and parries. Not so here, Galen seems to assume that one swing is enough and the impressive pose will strike armor wetting fear into the remaining enemies. Maybe it's just part of the Sith training. Apparently the cool-lightsaber-brandishing-pose is the first thing taught to young dark side apprentices, and must be mastered before the whole lightning and choking thing.

In any case, this led me to stop using the lightsaber at all, and turn instead to the force powers. While there are a ton of different powers, the most used are the force-push and lightning. All the others rely on certain motions with the Wiimote and don't always work. So you're left walking through level after level picking enemies up and throwing them against the wall, with the occasional lightning attack thrown in. It get's kinda boring.

As far as the "new levels available only on the Wii" (like the Jedi Temple), they're great - the first time. Unfortunately I have been back to the Temple about 5 times now, and each time it's exactly the same fight. I know storm troopers aren't known for their intelligence, but after being thrown into the ceiling the for the second time I would call in sick.

Finally, the in game camera. Words can't describe how much usually I hate third person games because of the frelling camera. This game is a perfect example of how bad game cameras can be. If you're not being attacked by something just offscreen, you're running into something that explodes. To make matters worse, occasionally enemies respawn in a corridor you just cleared. It got to the point where I could only play for about 15 minutes before I was forced to turn off the game and walk away, ensuring my TV screen remained Wiimote free.

Bottom line is I would skip this, or borrow it from some poor sap that did get it. While the storyline seems decent, it's simply not worth the alternating aggravation and boredom of this version. Just another reason I wish Lucas would die in molten, liquid-hot magma.

Gods I miss Firefly...