Parenthood

I knew having a dog was good preparation for having kids. (potentially NSFW for a little language at the end)

Baby from summer of tears on Vimeo.

You wanna play catch?!

Baby Tales

Last week I was running out the door and as I grabbed the kid, I noticed he needed a diaper change badly. Since I was already late (imagine that), I changed his dirty diaper in world record time.

Since I had done such a good job of changing him quickly, it would have been a shame to waste time washing my hands. Instead I grabbed a sani-wipe and wiped my hands clean and minutes later we were pulling out of the garage, a little late, but full of pride at my achievement.

About 5 miles down the road, it smelled like Beemer had made another dirty diaper. Sigh. However, after giving it more thought I realized that I was wrong. He wasn't the dirty one. In my haste I had gotten quite a lot of baby poo on my right hand and in my delight I had missed wiping it away.

Of course the only wipes I have are in the diaper bag, in the back. Do I have any napkins? Nope. Kleenex? Nope. Even if I did, I would just wipe the obvious stuff off, not really clean my hand. I shrugged and drove on, planning on cleaning my hands as soon as I could (being careful of what I touched - my Pepsi for one).

It's about here I realized what a mental shift parenthood brings. Before Beemer, I'm pretty sure I would have pulled over immediately and used whatever was at hand to wipe it off; grass, the car registration, my soon-to-be-roadside-trash tee shirt, ANYTHING. Of course, before Beemer I'm fairly certain I wouldn't have had poop on my hands at all, probably.

It's truly a magical time...

Eye of the beholder

An "artist" brought this into our shop to see if we wanted to buy it for decoration. The boss, not being hard-of-seeing, politely declined. We are however displaying it for her to see if anyone wants to buy it.

I suppose someone may want to buy it, but frankly it looks like my son did it - and he's 3 weeks old!

The best part? She wants $335 for it! And yes, that's US dollars, believe me, I checked...

Fortunes and Debauchery

Well, we're back from Vegas. Dr Heimlich summed up the best part of the trip quite well, so I won't go into that too much. Except maybe to add that that insane winning experience totally jaded me with any other winnings I had (which were few and far between). Every victory, including decent poker winnings and other craps winning, felt hollow. Fun, but hollow.

I should also mention that the leader of the pack (the bachelor) went on that night to place $20 on a roulette table and win $350, Win $130 in penny slots ,won a $100 hand of blackjack and also walked away a winner at a $25 craps table (though a small winner). I'll refrain from any jokes about it being the last time he'll get lucky multiple times in one night.

My first night there was...eventful. Let's just say most of the night is a blur, up till I awoke at 5 am on the bathroom floor by the toilet - at least I made it back to the correct room. Poor DrH had every reason that night to kick me out and make me sleep in the hallway...

This picture pretty well sums up the first night:

Yeah...There were ugly moments., but a lot of good ones too. At least that's what I'm told...

Tai Chi-chis

Found this DVD while looking for some beginning Tai Chi videos. Its Totally Nude Yoga and Tai Chi. That's right, somebody out there got their porn all over my Tai Chi.

Isn't Tai Chi is supposed to be a meditative and relaxing exercise? Somehow I find it hard to believe that any male would be able to relax watching this. On the other hand I'm sure it would be pretty easy to get my "chi" flowing.

My favorite part of the link above is a site dedicated to real martial arts. The review actually takes this DVD seriously, critiquing the postures and technique of the women. Something tells me that they kinda missed the point...

Ash Tuesday

This was brought to our attention last Tuesday. With apologies to my good friend Ash:

While it's true you never see them together, I will say that Ash is more entertaining than Tom Green by a long shot.

At least Ash can take solace in that all the waitresses at least thought he looked like a "cute" Tom Green.

Horton Hears a Stomache Ache

I saw this ad the tonight. It's for IHOP's "Horton" breakfast menu. The "Who Cakes" scare the frak out of me. Who would eat this, or even let their children eat this?



Eww...

Cheesy Fruit

Every Tuesday a few friends and I hit a local bar for "Pint Night". It's cheap beer and "guy time" that we all enjoy.

Anyway, this drink was served to one of the off duty servers. The bartender was messing with her, but it turned into quite the fruit salad/drink. It included a total of 10 pieces of fruit, all on top of a fruity drink.

The most disturbing part would have to be her adding cheese to the drink. Ok not really "adding", but she did go grab a slice of American Cheese to "enjoy" with the drink.

She's a bit odd....

Dependency In Azeroth

This was at a email kiosk at DIA. Apparently for the completely incurable addicts out there:

If you can't see it, the upper left icon is to play World of Warcraft. You know, in case you can't wait that few hours to play WOW.

Makes me feel that my gaming "problem" is completely under control...

Signs from above

OK, this was actually posted on HDW's blog, but it was too funny not to pass it along...

Click the image to see a bigger version...

Cyb-responsibility

So a friend told me tonight that another friend had to send his Rock Band drum peddle in for replacement after it broke.

I'm afraid that this is probably my fault. I can't seem to play the drums in Rock Band without beating the ever-loving crap out of the drum set. So it's more than likely that the reason it had to be replaced is my tendency to stomp on the peddle in an Animal-istic drumming style.

For the record I have been practicing without the stomping and pounding - and I suck. I would, however, rather suck at the game than ruin another of a friend's game system.

So, in conclusion: Dr. H. I'm sorry you had to replace a piece of your drum set due to my over compensation for white man's rhythm. At least I can suck at the guitar without ruining the controller.

At least I can so far...

Red Ring madness

So my "pusher" Ash lent me his Xbox 360 to try Assassins Creed (which I like and hate, but I'll talk about that later), and he also wanted to pick up Rock Band. I picked up Rock Band for him on Friday and we broke it open that night. We had a great time playing it until the wee hours of the morning (4am-ish).

Anyway, after playing it all night Friday night, and then playing it some Saturday night things were looking fine.

Last night I went to play it and the frakking thing gave me the "Red Ring of Death". So here I am with my friends broken Xbox and a useless Rock Band game. For a while I was thinking I'd be buying him a new Xbox for Christmas, UGH.

Well after unplugging everything and turning it back on, everything was OK - apparently there are multiple "Red Rings of Death", varying from "unplug and reboot" to "You now have a $400 doorstop". After looking into it today I even found people that have found a "fix" for the latter. Bsically you cover it with some towels, let it overheat, turn it off and VOILA! Reparo.

Microsoft sucks...

Eat this

Only in America.

I knew that eating competitions were getting more popular, but this is ridiculous. Who watches this crap? Is there really enough interest to create a League?

Those that participate are called "Gastric Athletes." Doesn't an athlete need to actually be relatively athletic? Even Baseball players need to be somewhat athletic.

Are we this hard-up for entertainment that we'll watch people stuff their faces as quickly as possible? Apparently so, considering all the reality TV crap that gets green-lit these days.

Though if I had to choose, reality wins every time. Does anyone want to watch the guy above "compete"?

Potter Hotness

Since its release I've now seen Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix twice and I really like it. I don't really intend to review it though (see Drheimlich for that).

My comments are about the actress that plays Nymphadora Tonks (Natalia Tena). Finally there's an actress that's hot and is old enough to ogle while watching these damned movies. Emma Watson (Hermione Granger) has definitely grown into a beautiful young lady. Watching her grow up from the little girl in Sorcerers Stone, though, it's impossible to think anything but "She's cute, but she's still that little girl with bad hair" (for those keeping track, same thing applies to Kirsten Dunst, Natalie Portman & Christina Ricci).

Natalia Tena though, while still young (23) is at least an adult. God bless the casting people of the movie! Good job, Tonks is supposed to be a cute young woman (of course they've done a great job with all of the casting, from Colin Creevey to Dumbledore).

I'm pretty sure I'm still going to Hell, but that's nothing news-worthy...