And this is why I'm planning on introducing my child to the Wii ASAP:
I would kill to get that laugh!
A customer walks in with her 4 year old son, who happens to be wearing Batman gloves.
Coworker to Batman Gloved Tyke, "You like Batman huh?"
BGT, "Yeah, he's cool. But not as cool as Spiderman. See Spiderman's the goodguy and Batman's the badguy.
Coworker, "Really? Why's that?"
BGT, "They fight over the girls."
Coworker, "Why would want to fight over girls. Don't they have cooties?"
BGT, "Yeah they do." BGT then leans in and whispers, "But they also have BOOBS!"
Saturday, my wife and I went to a coworker's baby shower, something I was less than thrilled about. Turns out it was actually my kind of shower. There weren't any corny games, or silly activities. It started with food and beverages (unfortunately the non-leaded variety) and socializing. There was a quick break for gifts and then the host pulled out Rock Band 2!
The rest of the shower was all about the Rock Band. It was a pretty cool change, one that made me glad we went. I of course stunk the place up, but at least there were a few that had played less than me.
I would have been more excited to go if I would have seen the invites:
This was sent to me from a friend:
If only he could have used "September", then I'd have new lyrics to sing when I hear that damned song EVERY FRAKKING DAY...
A small group of friends went to Akumal last week (a little town south of Cancun). A good time was had by all, and many stories to tell. However this picture taken in the Cancun airport tells it's own story:
This blog was referred to me from Hotdrwife and is rather entertaining. It's all about bad cakes and questionable cake decorators. Maybe not your cup of tea, but I thought it was amusing...
I love the Onion and I love Jackie Chan. This article just makes me love them both even more...
Jackie Chan is using his "status as the world's most famous martial arts movie star" to teach kids that violence should only be used if you're making a lot of money to do it. Which is pretty damn responisible of him if you ask me.
My favorite quote: "If I have learned anything from my long and profitable career as a martial artist, it is that spitting a mouthful of industrial alcohol onto an opponent wielding a hot glass rod to make him catch on fire—even if it's being filmed for your smash hit, Drunken Master II—is wrong."
I couldn't have said it better Jackie. Hopefully your noble teachings will help reduce the violent tendencies of today's youths. I salute you sir!
A long while ago, a good friend and I lived together just down the street from a Bennigan's. One evening while a small group if us were enjoying Monte Cristos and Turkey O'tooles, the server approached and asked if we wanted to join the Bennigan's Club (or something like that). We all said yes and proceeded to fill the little sign-up sheets out. My friend, ever concerned about Big Brother, filled out a bogus name - Seamus Finnegan. I don't really remember the surname, but I definitely remember the first name, Seamus.
Yesterday the good DrHeimlich posted about a funny trailer on black20.com. While browsing the site and watching some of the other videos I ran across this (not to copy the doctor too much):
That's a great Optimus impression BTW...
OK, this was actually posted on HDW's blog, but it was too funny not to pass it along...
Recently my dog has decided that it's a fun game to run back in forth in the yard barking his head off at every little movement in the front yard. To combat this I started looking into bark collars, I don't think I want a shock one and wanted to see what else was out there.
I'm not one of those people that doesn't believe in shock collars, I actually have a training collar for our trips to the field. It's simply that I think (hope) Rikin will get the lesson fairly quickly and I don't want to spend a small fortune.
Anyway, I've used the sonic collars (emits a high pitched tone) before and had good luck with it. I was curious about some of the others though, mainly a collar that sprays a citrus solution into the dog's face. While browsing some reviews I came across this one. What made this funny was this line:
"When I did finally manage to fill it, Bonnie figured out that all she had to do was bark continuously for several minutes to empty the cartridge! After about a week or two, the collar had absolutely no effect on controlling her barking at all! "
Pet owners crack me up, they always want to believe the most of their animal's intelligence (except me of course, I know my dog is brilliant). By my reckoning, there are two explanations for the above scenario:
A) The dog actually did figure out that the bark is what causes the spray. She then reasoned that the cartridge contains 3 ounces of liquid, and each time the spray is activated it shoots about 1/20 of a teaspoon. She then did the doggie math and figured out that if she barked approximately 360 times the cartridge would be empty. This would then leave her the luxury to bark as much as she wanted without any repercussions.
OR
B) Bonnie is too stupid to connect the barking to the spray and simply continued to bark - wondering all the while what that lovely orange smell was.
I'll lay my money on scenario B, with no offense meant to the canine genius Bonnie...
A friend sent me this Ebay Auction with the tag line of "Best Auction EVER".
I'd have to agree. Basically the guy is going to some small town in Poland for the holidays. He's going to send 3 postcards to the winner's victim of choice with random, insane rantings about cantaloupe and ferrets (Good band name BTW). The kicker will be that the seller will have a few details about the victim - enough to make him our her drive themselves crazy trying to figure out who they know that's in Poland.
I would have bid on it, but the current bid is $400 - a bit out of my pranking budget.
Thus the blogging about it...
Two most awesome sites ever
Scrubs reference: toddtime.com Be forewarned - while I don't think this is NSFW, some coworkers may. At the very least you may get wierd looks.
I know I bitch a lot about my work. Believe it or not, I do understand how good I have it. I work at a frelling dive shop, how bad can it really be?
Actually not bad at all. Especially when I have days like Sunday. We had a film crew rent our pool for a couple of scenes. They were here for about 4 hours and were a great bunch of people. The day got a LOT better when the subject showed up though.
See the film was about mermaids, and we weren't talking Disney-esque mermaids. We're talking Ye Olde Sailor's dream-type mermaids. Granted, her top was painted on, but in a pool it really doesn't count for much.
Basically any day that I can see breasts and get paid to do it, is a good day at work...
After all the hype of the Rockies going to the World Series, tickets went on sale this morning at 10am.
At least they were supposed to. Tickets were only available online, not at Coors Field, or anywhere else. Myself and a few coworkers decided to try and get tickets. With no luck after an hour or so, we assumed that tickets were sold out. After 2 and a half hours, the Rockies finally announced that their servers had crashed and only a few people actually were able to buy tickets.
I understand that the load on the servers had to be phenomonal (doo-dooo-do-do-do), but how can the Rockies IT department not expect that? The minute they announced this weekend that tickets would only be available online, didn't they do the math?
Colorado's population is about 4.7 million people. Since baseball is "America's favorite sport", let's say that most are Rockies fans (a big assumption, but fair when planning for a big sale like this). Even if half the people want to go, we're still talking over 2 million people. All trying to log onto their site at once. In terms of web traffic, that's nothing (Youtube.com claims to have 100 million videos viewed a day). Does anyone remember the election fiasco in Denver last November? Shouldn't a lesson have been learned there?
After a little further research. It looks like the MLB contracted a company called Paciolan to handle online ticket sales. Paciolan "experienced a system wide outage that is impacting all of their North American customers."
Hopefully Paciolan isn't head quartered in Denver. Sucks to be them right now. I have to wonder how many people took the day off to get tickets today and probably won't get any. I sense a large number of sick people tomorrow...
Those wacky British:
Australian Senator Discusses Oil Spill - Watch more free videos
