Chanisms

I love the Onion and I love Jackie Chan. This article just makes me love them both even more...

Jackie Chan is using his "status as the world's most famous martial arts movie star" to teach kids that violence should only be used if you're making a lot of money to do it. Which is pretty damn responisible of him if you ask me.

My favorite quote: "If I have learned anything from my long and profitable career as a martial artist, it is that spitting a mouthful of industrial alcohol onto an opponent wielding a hot glass rod to make him catch on fire—even if it's being filmed for your smash hit, Drunken Master II—is wrong."

I couldn't have said it better Jackie. Hopefully your noble teachings will help reduce the violent tendencies of today's youths. I salute you sir!