What does illiterate mean?

I know I've been a bit lax about posting lately, and I do plan to try to get to it more often. Certainly not as much as DrHeimlich, but more often than I have lately (can't disappoint my 3 readers).

In any case, after reading this I had to throw my 2 cents in.

Apparently the school district of Menifee, CA has pulled the 10th edition of Websters Dictionary because a parent complained that their child found the phrase "oral sex". What kills me is that the school actually responded to her crazy complaint. The district has since ordered an investigation to determine if the books should remain off the shelves.

Really? What other words are cause for concern? They claim that "other dictionary entries defining human anatomy would probably not be cause for alarm", but where does this end? Cunninglingus and fellatio have always been in there, what about them? Maybe it's just that those are more than one syllable and the dumb bitch can't understand them. What about decapitation, massacre and dismemberment, are those as offensive? Probably not, we see those on TV every day (and should IMHO) . How about cock and prick? I know that we live in a puritanical society, but isn't it the job of a parent to explain these things to a child? Certainly, it's easier to just pretend that it doesn't exist, and simply cover our children's ears and eyes at everything offensive. That's what parenting is all about right? What's easiest for us as parents.

Plus, if the kid is able to look it up in a dictionary, chances are they've probably already come across it online. Next they're going to remove goatse and dirty sanchez...

Customer Quote of the Month - March

A woman on her cell phone walks in to the store and starts to wander. She's in the middle of a conversation, so I leave her be until she's done with the call. After a few minutes of discussing her hair or some other BS, AWoHCP comes up to the counter and looks at me with a "Are you going to help me or not?" look. Bear in mind she's still on the phone having a conversation.

After a mental bitch-slap I ask her, "Can I help you find something?"

AWoHCP (barely pausing in her previous conversation), "Do you have those earplugs that you can dive with?"

Me, "Yep, they're over here." I show her where they are.

AWoHCP, "I need a pair."

Me, "OK, but they come in sizes, so we'll have to measure your ear, and fit the correct one to you." In other words get the frak off the phone lady!

AWoHCP, "Ok, then what size do I need?" She then turns her head to show me her ear and tells the person on the phone about her her overly gassy labradoodle.

I use the measuring template and select a size, but then tell her, "This should work, but you really should try it on."

AWoHCP, without a pause in her inane conversation, moves the phone to her other ear, then leans her ear toward me. At this point she obviously wants me to stick the earplug in for her.

Me, "Um, you'll have to do that for yourself. I'm not sticking my finger in your ear."

AWoHCP sighs, takes the earplug and sticks it in while explaining to the poor person on the other end of the line about how loose her gassy labradoodle's stools are. She then turns to me with a look of "Well, does it work?"

Me, "OK, now you have to hum," (BTW, I'm not just frakking with her here - it's part of the fitting process), "If it's the correct fit, you'll hear the hum louder in the ear with the earplug."

AWoHCP gives me a disgusted look and says (to her poor phone partner), "SIGH, I guess I need to go. I'll call you back." She then hangs up, hums and we complete the fitting. The rest of the transaction went fine. After paying, she hadn't taken 5 steps before she was back on the phone.

Now I'll admit I can't really remember what her conversations were about, but I do know it was all inane chatter. The conversation was certainly one that could have been paused for 5 minutes to be polite and get what she needed done. This is why I have a pet peeve of people and their cell phones. I'm all for them personally, I have one too. But I think it's incredibly rude to walk into a store while on the phone - I always try to finish my call before I walk in. Ah well, another day, another dollar.

Although I do like gassylabradoodle.com...

Customer Quote of the Month - December

Me to a man dressed in motorcycle gear, "Afternoon. What can I do for you?"

MDiMG, "I'm looking for a mask and stuff. You know, stuff to snorkel in."

Me, "Ok, right over here." I proceed to explain the gear.

About 45 minutes later after I had answered all his questions and picked out gear that fit him well. I ask, "That should pretty much do it. Is there anything else you need today?"

MDiMG, "Oh, I'm not getting anything here. I'm ordering it online. I just needed to try it all on. Thanks!"

It took every ounce of my willpower to not kick the SOB in the junk. I understand getting information, but really? Ignoring that we're partially on commission, wouldn't you think that an employee would want to make a sale for the small business he works for? Would you go to a restaraunt, sit down and ask the waiter about all the items on the menu and then say, "Thanks - the chicken pasta sound good. I'm going to go home and make it right now!"?!?

I am also aware that this probably happens all the time, and I get it. The internet is cheaper for a lot of things. But to have the balls to waste someone's time and then tell them outright that you did it intentionally?

Urge to kill rising....

Bet you can't take just one

Lately I've noticed a another disturbing trend in drug commercials ads. Apparently getting people to take one drug for each "malady" just isn't enough. Tonight, during an hour long program, I saw two different ads for drugs to fix problems not already being fixed by the first drug.

I would think if a drug isn't taking care of whatever issue someone may have, they would stop taking it and try something else. I can't imagine adding another drug, with it's own side effects, would be the answer. I also can't believe a doctor would allow this either. I thought the "do no harm" thing was taken pretty seriously.

On the other hand, with the millions that Big Pharm dedicate to buying doctors, I can see the Hippocratic Oath going out the window. Apparently "oath" doesn't mean what it used to, if it ever did. Of course Big Pharm doesn't really care about our health, just the bottom line.

Here's hoping our new executive wunderkind can see this problem when he "fixes" our health care...

Customer "Service"

My wife and I recently purchased some baby furniture, and had to wait for Babies R Us to order the dresser. I was called on Monday and informed that the dresser was in. The woman who left the message stressed very clearly that the dresser was preassembled and I'd need a big vehicle to pick it up.

Yesterday I borrowed the shop's van and went to pick it up. I informed the woman at customer service that I was there to pick the dresser up. I waited while she paged the furniture department to get the dresser brought up. After a minute or so, the phone behind the counter rings. The customer service woman answers it, nods and asks me, "What kind of car do you have?"

"A van." I answer.

"What kind of van?", she asks, "We want to make sure it will fit before we bring it up."

"It'll fit."

"OK, but what kind of van? We just want to make sure it will fit before we bring it up."

"I swear it will fit. Can you just bring it up?"

"Is it a big van? The dresser is one piece and we don't want to have to take it back to the back."

"The van is fine, IT WILL FIT." I was getting a bit irritated by now. I mean the frakking thing is a dresser, not a fully assembled, king sized waterbed.

"Sorry sir, but we just want to make sure it will fit in your vehicle. We don't want to have to take it back to the back if it doesn't."

"I understand that, but I'm the one that bought it. I know what size it is. It. Will. Fit."

"Is it a cargo van?"

"Yes. I guarantee it will fit."

"OK." She replies, uncertainly.

They finally brought it up and sure enough, it fit with enough space for about 6 others. By this time I was so furious I almost left the damned thing. I get that some people may try to fit a dresser in the trunk of a sedan, but CHRIST. I think that what got me the most frustrated that it was a relatively small dresser. There's not a single van in the world this wouldn't have fit in. I wanted to go back and comment on the differences of male and female spacial relations.

Another thing that got my goat was that they brought it up on a dolly. So the inconvenience of "taking it back to the back" involves rolling the dresser about 100 yards. The horror! What happened to the service part of customer service? I know that the days of the customer always being right are long gone, but this was a bit ridiculous. Or did I over-react?

Fantastic

This is just for DrH, it's another really cool flash game, with physics!. It's called Fantastic Contraption, and only check it out if you want to waste a few hours/days.

Gods I love the simple, yet entertaining games. Why is it these are free and yet the pieces of crap that are available are $60 dollars? Sure they look great, but a lobotomized capuchin can play it...

Who wrote this?

Fidgit.com recently posted a list of the "Top 10 moments that changed video gaming forever". While there are a few on the list I totally agree with, some are arguable and others are pure crap. The list should be "Top 10 moments from modern games that changed videogaming forever."

I agree with numbers 1, 2, 4 & 5 (I even have to grudgingly agree with #10). However, number seven has no place on the list. While I enjoyed Bioshock, the "twists" were anything but shocking. Number 6 states the same thing as #4. Both are moments in a game that had nothing to do with gameplay. They were just showing off the technology of the time.

While I enjoyed Portal (one of my all time faves), the credits (number 8) didn't "change gaming forever." It was amusing and well done, but epic? Cake jokes aside, nope.

What about that first time you powered on your Atari 2600? Why isn't Pong on this list? How about the playing a Gameboy for the first time?

And worst of all, how can the following not be on the gorram list?
"You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door.
There is a small mailbox here." Tragic, simply tragic.

I suppose that you could argue that the list isn't too bad, assuming it was written by someone that was born in the early 90s. Damn kids today, don't know how good they have it...

Wake me when November Ends

Sweet Jebus I can't wait until November is over. As is the case with any election year (especially presidential ones) the ads are out of control. This year, though, seems worse. Maybe it's because the race is so close. Maybe because both candidates are more desperate to get into office than usual. I really couldn't say.

In any case, it makes me wonder how many people out there really are influenced by these ads. Of course every ad (for either side) states that candidate X did this, or didn't do that. How many people take the ads at face value, without considering the full story? How many voters base their vote on what they hear and see in advertising and not on individual thought?

Prime example; A radio ad came on today professing Mccain's support of stem-cell research and how much good that can do. Immediately following that was an Obama ad claiming his support for the same issue plus Mccain's supposed opposition to it. Hmmmm...

Frankly I probably don't want to know the answer to any of these questions. I'm guessing I'd either have to kill myself or hunt down all those that base their votes on political ads. You know, clean the gene pool a bit. While the latter would be a lot of fun, the former is easier. Or maybe I'll plan on spending the next 6 weeks drunk and immersed in a media free zone. Perhaps somewhere like Azeroth...

Dumbocrats.org

A few days ago, my wife sent some comments to the Democratic party. Unfortunately she used her actual email address, which put her on their email list. And boy-howdy do do they use the email list. She's been getting 2 to 3 emails a day, all giving her the latest news from the DNC. Which may be interesting IF she cared about the DNC and IF we didn't live in Denver and hear about it on the TV constantly.

This wouldn't have been a big deal, except that it's frakking ridiculous to get off of the list. Sure, each email has an "unsubscribe" link at the bottom. This link takes her to a webpage that asks her to verify the email. The next screen then requires a 4 digit "confirmation code" that was supposedly emailed to her. The code didn't arrive for over 24 hours. When it finally did, the website claimed it was invalid.

Turns out, if the webpage requiring the confirmation code is closed, the code is invalidated. Basically this webpage needs to be kept open until the code can be entered, which is fine if the system actually sends the code promptly, but a day later is anything but prompt.

I have resorted to replying to every email with "For the love of all that's holy UNSUBSCRIBE ME." and spamming the webmasters with "Unsubscribe" emails until they finally take care of it.

I would ask the party how their candidates will be able to run the country when they can't even run a website, but I don't want this to start over again...

Nice Planning

I have spent the last couple of days at the new University Hospital and have come to realize that the designers of the building were retarded. The biggest example of this is the helicopter "access". The local news did a story on this recently, but I got a chance to see this marvel of modern engineering personally.

For some reason, the designers decided that this brand new hospital building didn't need a helipad on the roof. So they built one in the parking lot. Did they choose a parking lot next to the ER? Nope, they placed it across the street. This means that patients must be loaded into an ambulance and then driven about 100 yards. Did they not know they were building a hospital that would be taking care of critically injured people? What dumbass thought that an ER department at a "state of the art" facility didn't need a convenient helipad? Apparently it was someone who hadn't heard of these new fangled devices called "helicopters".

Only slightly less irritating is that this 4 year old hospital is already too small. After waiting in the ER to be moved to a regular room for 19 hours, I had to ask what the hold up was. I was told that it could take 30 to 40 hours to get a hospital bed. Apparently the rooms are always full, so ER patients are forced to sit in the crappy emergency beds for up to 2 days! There are already plans to add on another tower to the hospital. Apparently no one thought to take into account that this new location is in a very populated area, with no other hospital for miles.

If you couldn't tell, I spent about 36 hours in hell Monday thru Tuesday and I'm a tad irritated about it. I won't even go into the nursing day staff...

Evil Tomat...Jalap...Oh screw it, just BE AFRAID

The great and terrifying Salmonella has risen it's ugly head again. This time "experts" think it's from jalapenos. A couple of weeks ago it was tomatoes.

Anyone else finding this ri-god-damned-diculous? Remember that this jalapeno "warning" came out weeks ago? I'm sure that pulling jalapenos from shelves now will help a lot.

Oh and this just in; Cell phones cause cancer - again. Nevermind that this was "announced" about 15 years ago. Anyone have cancer from cell phones yet? Didn't think so.

I hate the press...

Share THIS road.

Today I was driving along Belleview where the bike path crosses the road. A group of bicyclists had stopped and were resting on the path, except two. Two of them were in the middle of the right lane of traffic. As I approached, they looked up at me and then proceeded to turn to each other and resume their conversation. They even had the nerve to give me a dirty look when I only moved out of the lane far enough to not run them over (probably a little closer than I should have been).

Also today, I was coming out of a parking lot and a biker turned in, heading right towards me - in the one-way exit lane. Again I received a dirty look because I didn't stop and let her pass.

Now, I have no problem sharing the road with most bicyclers. I understand that the pavement is softer and is easier to bike on than concrete. I get that, and most of the time I'm fine with it. I do, however, have a problem with bikers that believe they have the right of way at all times. I can't be the only one that knows that when a bicycle is on the road, they're considered a vehicle, and must obey traffic laws. More than that though, where's the consideration?

Or does such a thing exist anymore?

Second favorite to most hated

Well it only took a few moments for my second favorite team in the NHL to drop to my most hated.

The Calgary Flames signed Todd Bertuzzi today, an act that a lot of Flames fans are understandably upset about.

Of course I could make the argument that this thug has no business on the ice, but what makes me more frustrated is that teams are still willing to give him a try. Why am I the only one that sees that he SUCKS. According to the Flames GM Darryl Sutter, "Todd is a proven scorer...", Let's see - 46 post season games with 9 goals and a whopping 40 points in the entire regular season. Yeah real proven scorer, face it Mr. Sutter, he's a has been that only got worse after his obvious criminal tendencies came to the surface in 2004.

At least his salary is dropping, but it's still almost $2 million. Maybe I should go break someone's neck too, seems to work out well.

To sum up, "Todd Bertuzzi is to hockey what Kevin Federline is to Rap".

Customer Quote of the Month - May

Me greeting a woman that just walked into the shop, "Hey there, what can we do for you?"

TtjWitS, "I'm meeting someone here in a few minutes. She's going to sell me her old gear. You don't mind helping me make sure it's a good deal do you?"

Me, "Umm....does it say 'Flea Market' on the door?"

OK, I didn't really say that, but I wanted to. What the hell? Would you arrange to meet someone at Best Buy to sell them your old TV?

and NOW a warning?

The other night yet another commercial for a drug made me chuckle. It was for an arthritis medicine that I won't name. What amused me about this was that the ad didn't waste time telling me how great it was. No, it spent 60 seconds telling me that the benefits out-weigh the risks involved in taking it.

Obviously the side effects are serious and have been causing hesitation to take this particular drug. Any drug that needs to take that much time trying to convince me to not worry about the serious side effects, I don't need.

Have I mentioned I hate pharmaceutical companies?

Q is for Questionable

After two humiliating losses to the much hated Red Wings, I have a few things to say.

1) Theodore is the biggest waste of $6 million in the history of the NHL. If it wasn't for his lackluster performance this series we'd have an even series right now. I firmly believe that the first game would have been an Avalanche victory if Ole' Three-or-more hadn't let in the rolling puck from Cleary (which I could have stopped), and Franzen's shot from the frakking blue line. His excuse was that he had the flu. So an average goaltender has been slowed down by sickness, and you decide to start him anyway?

2) Game two was simply an embarrassment. I will admit that the rest of the team didn't fare so well either, since we were out shot 40 to 20. However, Jose letting in 4 goals in 20 shots in 30 minutes of play has to be pretty discouraging.

3) I hope that the decisions to keep starting Jose are not Coach Q's. I thought we had signed a good coach a few years back. However, if these are his calls, he's this side of retarded. I have to believe that the decision to keep starting Jose is coming from higher up in a vain attempt to justify a bad trade.

4) Thank the gods that we no longer have to hear what a genius Lacroix was. This same "genius" that sent Aebischer away for our gorram starting goalie. Mind you, A goalie that's been consistently out-played by our backup goaltender, especially the last two games. Budaj has played more ice time during this series and has 7 fewer allowed goals, that's not hard math Coach Q.

5) Theodore is the biggest waste of $6 million in the history of the NHL.

To put the icing on the cake, they've announced that they've decided to start Three-or-more AGAIN. Apparently we need to get swept this series with Jose letting in another 8+ goals before the coaching staff realizes that Theodore sucks.

At least Enemy #1, Bertuzzi's team is out.

Pharm aid

OK, so fair warning. This post is more ranting about Big Pharm. Feel free to change the channel. Ranting will begin in 3....2......1.

Last month the Nursing Online Education Database published the "25 shocking facts about the Pharamaceutical Industry". Among these are such interesting facts as:

• The price of drugs is increasing faster than any other form of "health care". Some drugs have a mark up of over 1000 percent over the cost of ingredients.
• Big Pharm spends twice as much on marketing than research. This isn't that shocking to anyone that sits through commercials every night.
• Most drug reps have no science or medical education - just sales training.
• The combined wealth of the top 5 Big Pharm out weighs the Gross National Product of all sub-Saharan African countries. While I'll grant you that this area is arguably the poorest in the world, the fact that 5 companies are bigger than some 32 countries is staggering!
  
• Robert Jarvik isn't a doctor! Lipitor's number one spokesman (also the inventor of the artificial heart) leads people to believe he's a doctor in the ad which means he knows what he's talking about. Nice...
• New drugs are just recycled or modified drugs of the past. Two thirds of all drugs approved by the FDA are identical or simple modifications of drugs released earlier.
  
• Merck & Co has no problem destroying people who dare to speak against them. Dr. Eric Topol showed that the painkiller Vioxx actually increased herat disease in patients, and was kicked off the Board of Governors of his clinic in Cleveland.

Anyway, I know I'm beating a dead horse. But I really hate Big Pharm. My most recent favorite ad? It's for some nasal decongestant with side effects "bleeding from the nose and nasal cavities, sinus infections and possible eye damage. Make sure to have you eyes checked out regularly."

Sure I'd much rather have bleeding sinuses and blindness than a frakking stuffy nose.

W....T....F....

Asthmatic irony

A few nights ago watching TV, I chuckled at yet another pharmaceutical ad. It was for some asthma medicine, I have no idea which one. I suppose even if I did, I would say I didn't remember for fear of the Pharma Cartel sending a "representative" to either sue me or break my fingers.

Anyway, this ad's "small print" was that it contained a drug that has been known to cause "asthmatic death".

The hell? Talk about the cure being worse than the disease...

Drowning In Absurdity

After a long day of travelling back to the states, I have noticed a few things about my fellow travellers. There are a lot of stupid people out there (a shocking discovery I know). I don't mean those that don't travel a lot and are simply unaware of certain things. I can live with them, there's a lot of BS rules out there that travelers have to abide with. Most of which don't actually increase security, just make us "feel" that we're safer. But I digress...

On our final flight home there was a passenger that had a serious shortage of common sense. He was the only person I've seen on a plane get out of his seat during landing. I'm not saying that he got up after the steward made the "We're now landing" announcement. Oh, no. This Midvale grad stood up and started to get his baggage out of the overhead compartment about 2 minutes before we touched down. He even had the nerve to look shocked that the steward politely yelled at him, and made it all worse by leaving one of the overhead compartments open when he decided to sit back down. Is it me or is this more than simple ignorance of airline procedures? Does this sound rational to anybody out there that hasn't flown or is this just plain stupidity?

The security line is my favorite source of airport humor. I always get a kick out of watching people herded through the lines and told over and over to comply in various ways. If you haven't been at DIA for a while, they've borrowed from the ski slopes in an attempt to make the lines go smoother. They now have a "Black Diamond" lane that is for those that travel regularly and are aware of the security procedures. Theoretically this makes that line move faster for more experienced travelers. I'm by no means an expert traveler, but I know what to take out of my bags, what to take off and what not to have in my carry-on bags. Even so, I was hesitant to use the line, call it a little case of self doubt. There was one lady however, that apparently thought she qualified. Of course she had to be stopped four times for various things like taking her shoes off and trying to take a bottle of water in, just to name a couple. It was pretty apparent she either was too stupid to see the huge ass black diamond sign that explained who should use that line or too stupid to remember what the security rules are.

My verdict for both people is guilty. Both are too stupid to travel. Or course it could just be I was irritable from a 20+ hour travel day...

Drugged out

A few mights ago I started (and finished) a book recommended to me by my mother. It's called The Pandora Prescription, by James Sheridan. It's a book that supposedly went through a lot of banning troubles before it was published. I say supposedly because there's a lot of talk that the "banning" was merely a publicity stunt. While I can see this, it doesn't diminish the facts the book presents. I was told that the book was originally a non-fiction book that no one would publish. In order to get publishing, the author rewrote it as a fictional story. What I find interesting as that googling the book pulls a lot of sites that have been suspended or removed. However, this is possibly part of the "publicity stunt".

The book is about a medical conspiracy that's been happening for over 50 years. A compound called Laetrile was developed in the mid-1950s that showed promise of being an effective treatment for cancer. Laetrile is a processed version of a substance found in fruit seeds, namely apricots. This leads the pharmaceutical companies to cover it up, since no one can patent a fruit seed, and no money can be made from it.

The book is interesting (which led me to read it in one night), but not well written. The facts that are presented are very thought provoking, which is the main point of this post. It's painfully obvious though, that the book was meant to be non-fictional. The characters and writing are extremely forced. It's also apparent that the publishing house is in desperate need of a editor that knows English as their primary language. Many times I'd have to reread a sentence because it didn't make sense, only to realize a couple of key words were missing. There were misspellings, spaces missing between words and improper punctuation. If this was truly meant as a fictional adventure, I'd have burned the book. However, all of these "mistakes" lend more credibility to the facts presented. Again, it was obviously meant to be a different book.

And now for my rant. The cancer industry employs more people than that have or die from cancer. It's a multi billion dollar industry. It's no wonder that they would want a "magic bullet" cure covered up. The pharmaceutical industry is the leading powerhouse behind most cancer "research". Which seems like a conflict of interest to me, if cancer is cured, that's a huge chunk of most pharmaceutical companies income. What CEO would lose sleep over a few million deaths if it meant a higher profit margin for themselves and their stockholders? Not many.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a true conspiracy nut. I do, however, think it's naive to take the government at it's word. The FDA and AMA are constantly under fire for shady practices, and it wouldn't surprise me in the least that they're heavily influenced by pharmaceutical companies. When was the last time you watched TV (without Tivo Dr H) and didn't see an ad for some miracle drug or another? Cholesterol drugs have been shown for a while to cause more damage than they help, yet there are half a dozen different cholesterol drugs marketed to us every night.

The bottom line is that while I can't say that I believe everything that this book presents, I believe a lot of it. Just like the oil companies, the pharmaceutical cartel doesn't care about fixing us. It's about selling a drug that covers up the symptoms, that also happen to cause other "side effects" that can be "fixed" with more drugs. BRILLIANT!

End of rant, thank you for your time...