Dear god Not Yet.

A picture (albeit a crappy one) from the local Wal Mart taken a day ago:

Kill me...

Halo 3 out of 10

A couple of days ago a friend bought Halo 3 and invited me over to try it out. After all the hype I went in extremely skeptical. After a number of hours playing I have to say I under-whelmed, even as skeptical as I was.

I know that I'm the only one out there, but it's just more of the same. Gameplay is virtually identical to previous Halos. with the irritating exception of changing the "reload" button to a shoulder button, so that the original button could be used to deploy various "enhancements" - cloaking, shields, etc. So both my friend and I found ourselves wasting these things instead of reloading. Is there a reason they couldn't assign the new features on the new button?

Anyway, I digress. The visuals are amazing, not that I'm surprised. The XBox 360 is a console solely designed for visuals, sometimes at the cost of game quality. Halo 3 is one such game, the game simply delivers the same gameplay, the same plot, the same challenge. The game, even on "Legendary" isn't overly hard - yes you die a lot, but simply respawn and go at it again. Despite this, it does a much better job of respawning than Bioshock. Halo at least respawns all the enemies too, and you lose your weapons.

The new features seem to be created with multiplayer in mind, rather than single player. Just like Halo 2, the game suffers. bungee has done a little better for single players, but the game is still multi-centric. That being said I think it's pretty cool that you can now play 4 player co-op.

Bottom line? While there's no doubt it's fun, it's not the stunning game that everyone is raving about. Is it fun to play someone else's copy? Yep. Is it worth getting an Xbox 360? Hell no.

Mark this one up as a disappointment. as for myself, I'm going to bide my time waiting for Assassin's Creed. Let the flame war begin...

Virtual Transvestites

Chinese developers of MMORPG King of the World have frozen accounts of any player that has a female character in the game. The only way to play these characters is to "proove" to the company that the player is actually a female. The company is requiring that female players proove their womanhood with a webcam.

Seems to me that this is rather sexist - there's no restrictions about females playing male characters. Besides, is there really any valid reason to require this? Is there really an issue with players thinking their actually talking to women? Is their still anyone that believes that people are honest online? I know there are female gamers out there, but I don't assume that every female character online is either a woman or as attractive as they are in the game.

I'll admit it, I've played female characters online. Not because I have any ulterior motive, it's just that if I'm going to watch a figure running from behind - why not make it an attractive behind?

Basically, I think the company's perverted execs want to evaluate the female clients "qualifications." I wonder if women can get "extra credit" for better and more revealing "qualifications"...

So that's how it works

We recently bought a new carpet sweeper for the shop. After assembling it, I noticed this line out of the manual:

To Use: Push in front of you in a back and forth motion to clean dirt off floor.

Really? Is there someone out there that really needs this explained to them? If so, shouldn't they be buying something more than a $20 sweeper? I'm guessing that there's a lot more dirt than this bad boy can handle...

Boogie oogie

The other night I picked up Boogie for the Wii. It's a rhythm game that combines dancing using the remote and singing with a USB microphone. Although the word "combines" may not be the right word - there's no singing and dancing at the same time.

I was mildly surprised that the game is kinda fun. There's not a lot to it, you move the remote left,right,up and down to the music - different combos are available to "mix it up". While this made it easy to pick up and play, it's also it's biggest flaw, there's no challenge after the first 30 seconds.

The singing is pretty typical of karaoke games, you have to match the pitch of the song - which isn't as hard as I thought. Even my caterwauling managed some decent scores. You do actually have to stick pretty much to the words too, just grunting in tune doesn't work as well. Another nice thing is you can turn down the volume of your own voice and mix in the actual singer's voice so that people aren't as tortured.

It's basically an OK game that would be more fun in a party setting. Look out game night...

My cyber hair is graying

Even the internet mocks my age...

Today I was entering some info for a site, and at one point I needed to enter my birth date. I was fairly depressed that I had to click to the third screen to find my birth year, something I've noticed a few times in the past, but really hit me this time. It was nice back when you could just write the age on a a form- it wasn't a factor then.

I know that mid thirties isn't "old" per se, it's still strange to know that I could be a parent to the kids that are graduating high school. Although, I suppose it could be worse, I could be as old as Toothygrim ;)

Maybe it's time for a pre-mid life crisis, fast cars and faster women here I come!!!

Missed it

Oh, in honor of yesterday...

I be sorry I be a landlubbing swine and missed a glorious post about it being the most wondrous and joyous of all the year!

To me fine mateys - you know who ye be - I cry a hardy "AAARGGH!!"

Big wheels stopped turning

Sunday night the author of one of my former favorite book series died. Robert Jordan passed Sunday after a long fight with cardiomyopathy.

Thank the gods I stopped reading the Wheel of Time series, because chances are it's done, never to be finished. This is a shame, because the series started strong and should have been done by now. The reason I stopped reading it was that Jordan apparently decided it was a great cash-cow and began to drag the story line out.

The last book I read was Crown of Swords - the seventh book. He was in the middle of writing book 12. All I remember of Crown (and the 2 before it) was that it was a 1000 pages of characters talking about what to do, and about 24 of them actually doing it. To make matters worse, he had started to alternate his writing between continuing the story and writing frakking PREQUELS.

I don't mean to sound insensitive, a good writer has been lost, but he lost my fanship when he obviously started to stretch the story as far as he could, regardless of the impact to the storyline.

My heart goes out to all the fans out there that doggedly stuck with him. I can only hope for those lost souls that Jordan had detailed notes of where the story was going, and the publisher can find a decent ghost writer. If that happens, and if they end it, I may actually re-read the series to see how it all pans out (maybe with the help of some online Cliffs Notes)...

Too crappy even for the Wings.

Somehow I missed it until just now, but Mr. Thug himself, Todd Bertuzzi was signed by the Ducks as a free agent in July. Seems even the Red Wings thought he wasn't worth the money. Not surprising since he really didn't perform well for them, acquiring a whopping 7 points in the playoffs - less than half of most of the team. Hell, even the slug that is Zetterberg managed 14 points in the playoffs, and all he does is use is extremely large posterior to block the goalies view of the puck - but I digress.

Anyway, I pray this is a trend in this particular player's career. His high point was in 2002-3, and it's been downhill ever since. Hopefully the managers of the league are starting to see that Bertuzzi is a slow, untalented skater - the only reason a team has to sign him is his size as an enforcer. Even that "ability" has suffered because he shies away from almost all encounters - probably due to being a bit gun-shy. Could it be that he's afraid of breaking more necks?

Naaaaaaaaaaah - that would take a conscience...

Bioshocking

The latest big craze in the gaming industry is Bioshock. A shooter set in an city at the bottom of the ocean - called Rapture. It's set a few records - the fastest downloadable demo to hit the "one million downloads" mark (it did so in a mere 9 days) and the top selling game for the Xbox 360.

I don't own an Xbox 360 - and probably never will, at heart I'm a PC gamer - and always will be. Fortunately this game was released for windows as well. So of course I picked it up.

This game is B. E. -utiful. The 1950's steam punk setting is realized gorgeously. The lighting and water effects are some of the best I've seen. When I started playing the game (your plane crash lands in the ocean), I spent a good 10 minutes doing nothing but spinning in place watching the pretty fire on the water.

Gameplay is smooth, at least once I got the video settings correct (my video card choked a bit - Thanks to Aaron for supplying me with a better one, always the enabler he is.) Weapons are the standard lot, pistol, machine gun, shotgun etc. It's the mental abilities that add a bit to gameplay. You can "purchase" various mental abilities as the game proceeds - lightning, setting enemies on fire, even a spring trap that launches foes into the air (though this is more fun to watch than practical). The AI of the enemies is a wonder. You can beat them down to an inch of their life and they will run to a medical station to heal - or use a med pack that you haven't found yet. I've seen them pick up ammo that I left behind - pretty cool. The Big Bad of the game are creatures called "Big Daddies", behemoths that protect the little girls that are the source of your powers. The first time I encountered one it actually got my heart racing a bit (sad I know).

My biggest problem with this game is it's a potentially great game that's been dumbed down for the "special", short bus riding, Xbox owners. There's no really challenge - which is true shame considering the effort the makers put into the AI. If you die, there are "Rez Chambers" to revive you. There is no penalty for using a Chamber, none. You can die once or thousands of times with no difference in the game. My first encounter with a Big Daddy was great - because it was before I knew there was no penalty for using a Rez Chamber. I soon learned how easy they were to beat without using a single medpac or healing station. All you do is 1) die, 2) revive and 3) attack again, rinse and repeat until the Big Daddy is dead. I have a friend that has killed many of the Big Daddies with a frakking wrench (FYI it takes 63 hits with a wrench to kill the biggest monsters in the game - of course you die about 25 times, but so what?)

My second problem, is that this game is very similar to System Shock 2, something I noticed and was glad to see stated by someone else (see Yahtzee's awesome review here).

Again, this would be a decent console game, but for PC gamers like myself, it's a let down. I like a bit of challenge in my mid-50's, underwater shooter games. Maybe I'm the only one, but I'd like to think that there are others like me. So please 2K Games, please release a patch to limit use of the Rez chambers, or at least charge me $24.95 to resurrect myself!

Wow, I just noticed the length of this entry. I guess I put more thought into this review than I do when playing this frontal lobotomy that is Bioshock. However, with that said, I have to get back to finishing the damned thing. Stupid gaming O.C.D...

Californian Nazis

According to MSN, a Californian councilwoman wants to stop any new fast food restaurants from opening fo rhte next two years. According to her, "The people don't want them, but when they don't have any other options, they may gravitate to what's there,".

Are you frakking kidding me? People eat there because it's convenient, cheap and tastes good. Granted it's not always healthy, but I hear there's this new thing out there called "Self-control". Maybe Ms. Himmler should promote this and personal accountability. It's not McDonald's fault that people can't control themselves and eat four Big Macs, large fry and a vat of chocolate shake.

According to Ms. Perry, though, it is McDonald's fault - how dare they sell food people like to eat. These poor people are getting fat because they're forced to eat the fast food instead of bringing a frakking salad.

Stupid Californians....

Should I be worried?

Has anyone else noticed the number of "Are you prepared?" and "How long would you last?" commercials lately?

There seems to be a big push for the populace to be ready to survive unassisted for a period of time. Don't believe me? Check out the website.

What exactly do they know that we don't? Does this relate to my earlier question?

To answer the question of my level of preparation, I figure I'm slightly more prepared for the end of the world than I am for a zombie invasion...

More than meets the ear

Check out this mod for the Motorola MOTOROKR E6 cell phone.

I guy in China tore his cell phone apart to make this cool mini robot.

As Transformer-ish as this is, apparently he's a Bandai fan, so it's technically not a Transformer, but still kinda cool in my mind.

Of course, I have such a problem breaking cell phones, that this is the last thing I should have. Something tells me it wouldn't make it past the first drop...

"Suck it fanboys!" Quothe Jobs

Recently Apple dropped the cost of the iPhone 33%. Yesterday Apple founder Steve Jobs announced that there would be no refunds to those that purchased an iPhone at the higher cost.

A company that arguably is still in business because of the loyalty of it's customers (some times unwarranted loyalty I might add), sent a big "Screw you, and thanks for the cash, suckers!"

Not that I'm saying "I told you so", but I told you so. Anyone remember the piece of crap that was the first iPod?

How often do people need to get burned with first-gen technology before buying it.

Of course I suppose I can't talk too much - I bought a Wii almost immediately...but that's totally different...

No really I'm fine..

Thanks to everyone for the good thoughts over this weekend. I promise I'll move away from doom and gloom on the blog soon.

However, this weekend has made me very aware of something in our society. I have been asked a thousand times, "How are you?" by complete strangers. Every time I walked into a Starbucks, grocery store, or restaurant I was asked how my weekend was going and of course I answered "Great!". I know that this is nothing new, but I found it interesting that I would respond with a "I'm doing good" without a pause.

It made me start to think. I know that they really don't care. I know I don't really want to know how someone's life is when they walk into our shop. I find it interesting that we've moved away from a simple "Hi" to a false impression of caring about each other's lives.

I say false because I know that if I were to tell them how I was really doing, I'd get a strange look and a response of "Oh" or "Sorry" or "Huh...What can I do for you?" We like to ask, but we don't really want to know.

Anyway, it's just something that made me go "Hmmm", and this is supposed to be my random thoughts right? Though I do think I'm going to try to only ask if I want to know, just my little contribution to a better society...

Goodbye

Today I lost my best friend and companion.

You'll be missed and always loved.

Goodbye.

Customer Quote of the Month II

Customer, after wlking in from 97 degree heat, "Whew it's hot out there. Too bad you don't have a pool here."



Me, "We actually do, we have a pool in the basement."



Customer laughs, "You're kidding right?"



Me, "Nope, we have a 25,000 gallon pool downstairs, just head through that door and down the stairs."



Customer, "Really? Can I go see it? I've never seen one."



Me, "...."