A Good Kind of show

The series of books I'm presently reading is apparently being picked up to be a TV series by ABC/Disney. It's a long series (eleven books) by and I've enjoyed it so far (Snarky, you'd like it). Plus I have the satisfaction of it being completed. The most recent book, Confessor was released last November.

Anyway, Sam Raimi is going to direct it and it's been greenlit for 22 episodes. Both are good things, so I should be excited. Should be. What makes me hesitant is that it's been picked up by CBS/Disney. It's not exactly a Disney type of book, what with the raping, betrayal, murder and such. So I find myself worried that it's going to be Disney-fied to the level of pure suckage.

Roland, please tell me I'm wrong to be nervous. Puhleeez?

PSA

Here's a link sent from a friend. It's the American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention.

Here I thought doctors were the third leading cause of death for the average male, was wrong, it's from velociraptor attacks. You never can be too careful, check this site for important tips to anti-raptor your house.

OK, I'll admit it. I felt I should post something since it's almost been a week, and I had nothing else...

Scary condiments

At the bar last night, Jackal pointed out how disturbing this is (not the best picture):

Isn't "Real Mayonnaise" made with eggs? Of course, any condiment that doesn't need refrigeration scares me.

I should also add that Jackal immediately proceeded to gloop this "mayo" all over his burger without batting an eye. Which is his call I suppose, I hear salmonella is all the rage now...

Corneal Crysis

A few days ago I finished Crysis, the game with the infamous "eye-bleeding" graphics from Crytek. Sure enough, that's the game's strongest aspect, the graphics. Since I don't have near the hardware needed to play this game in the high setting (yet), I missed out on the truly impressive effects. However, even my meager medium settings were enough to stun me.

The game begins on the shore of an island (ala Far Cry) and I spent a good 15 minutes looking around without moving. The moon casts shadows, the water was spectacular and the sky and clouds were among the most realistic I've seen in a game. That's not to mention the environmental interactions, you can shoot leaves off the trees or even chase crabs or fish.

After my eyes adjusted to the retina-blistering prettiness I started actually playing the game. I noticed right away that the AI had two levels. Sometimes they enemy soldiers had the irritating ability to see you from across the map, and of course these same eagle-eyed soldiers happened to be expert marksmen. Other times I could snipe a soldier while his buddy standing next to him would continue to enjoy his Marlboro Red. At one point I shot one that was having a conversation with a fellow recruit. The soldier watched his buddy lose the top part of his head, looked around a little then almost seemed to shrug before he casually turned to walk away (at which point I capped his unsympathetic ass too).

The levels are very open ended. While you need to accomplish certain things, your objectives can be accomplished in a number of different ways. This could be a good point, but also tends to be a drawback. Some maps are a bit too open ended. I won't even get into the alien ship levels that have you floating in space like a grocery bag in a Kevin Spacey movie.

Finally I must agree with Yahtzee in his assessment of the part of the game that you "get" to fly a dropship. My (and Ash's) theory is that the developers simply couldn't get the flying to work well. So they had the writers write in an "accident" that causes the dropship to be "damaged", thus fixing the problem and causing poor saps like myself to pound their keyboards into oblivion with frustration. Gorram "design elements"....

Stephen Parking

It's been a while since I parked at the Pavilions downtown. A few nights ago I parked in the underground structure for the previously mentioned Bowling/Art show.

The Pavilions has recently given up on hiring live parking attendants in favor of an automated one. I suppose this makes sense, you don't need to pay anyone and it HAS to help with getting out after a movie.

What I found interesting was the voice they chose for the machine. Steven Hawking is apparently supplementing his income by selling his distinctive electronic voice.

OK, I know it's probably the standard computer voice that a lot of machines have, Mr. Hawking's included, but I found it amusing. Of course it was more amusing than it should have been after the beer at the aforementioned bowling alley.

Bowling Nouveau

Saturday night I met some friends at Lucky Strikes downtown, an "upscale" bowling alley. Basically it's your average bowling alley, that's been spruced up so they can charge a small fortune to bowl.

We weren't bowling, but we were playing some expensive pool, and having a good time with it - despite my raw suckage. At some point in the night they started showing the work of various artists on all of the screens. Here's an example of the "art" that was shown. It's a tad blurry due to my crappy cell phone camera (and maybe the 6 or so beers at that point).

Ignoring that fact that most of the art was pure crap, why would a bowling alley show art rather than ESPN, or some other sports-related thing? Here's a ground breaking idea, how about showing music videos! I understand that they're trying to be more exclusive than your average Colfax bowling alley, but come on. Does a crappy drawing of a Norelco Razor really add to the ambiance of a bowling alley?

Customer Quote of the Month - March

Customer on the Phone, "I have some questions about getting certified to SCUBA dive."

Me, "OK, what can I answer for you?."

Here we'll skip the mundane conversation of cost and schedules of classes.

After a pause, CotP asks, "Do you have to know how to swim?"

Me, "Well, you are under the water, so it's a good idea."

CotP, "Oh, because I'm terrified of the water and hate fish. Do you think that's going to be a problem?"

Me, "Did I mention that you are under the water? And you do realize the ocean has fish everywhere, right?"

Do arachnaphobes look for places to roll around in thousands of spiders? Is it wise for an acraphobe to learn how to skydive or a coulrophobe to jump into a pool of clowns?

(I love phobias...)