Bacn tastes gd, Prk Chps taste Gd

Ever get that spam that you don't quite want to erase? Me too, and Now there's a name for it!!!

"bacn" is a new tech term for those messages that aren't quite spam, but aren't quite emails you want either (link). It's all that crap that we sign up for, but never really get around to reading.

(Thanks for the link Morgan)

Mmmmmmmm.....Bacn

shhhhhHHHH!

No longer do movie goers need to worry about people and their damned cell phones.

No longer will we have to rely that the nice "Please silence you cell phones now" messages actually get people to turn the damn phones off!!

Introducing the cellphone signal blocker. It's a portable unit that has about a 6 hour battery life, plenty even for most of that Lord of the Rings marathons!

The only problem is that it doesn't seem to work too well in the US, but we can hope - it may still be worth the $43.

Oh, one other thing - this may have a tinge of illegality to it as well - but is that really an issue when Gabby McTalksalot is sitting behind me in the theater? I think not.

Now if they'll only invent the "Cone of Silence" for those that just talk to each other...

I know already!

I hate cell phone voicemail. I hate that when you're trying to leave a message, the frakking system has to explain how to leave your message.

Haven't we had message machine since like the 70s?!?!

Is there anyone out there that doesn't know how to leave a message?!?!?

Why do you need to spend 2 minutes telling me to wait for the tone, leave a message and hang up?!?!? ALL OF THIS AFTER THE ACTUAL MESSAGE CREATED BY THE PERSON I'M CALLING!!!

Sorry for the outburst, but I REALLY hate modern voicemail systems. I thought "modern" meant easier to use".

I suppose it could be explained as a way for cell phone companies to eek a few extra minutes out of everyone, but does this really pay off? Don't most plans have thousands of minutes?

FYI after a quick Google, it actually looks like the first answering machine was invented in the 1898!!! It was more of a recorder than an actual answering machine, so may not count. The first automatic answering machine was in 1935. Interesting (link goodness here).

But I digress, I'm ranting here, not trying to learn anything. Damn you cell phone companies and wasting my precious minutes!!!

From Cloud City to Earth's orbit

Today, Luke Skywalker's lightsaber will be handed over to NASA to be sent to space.

The lightsaber prop used in Star Wars is to be aboard the Space Shuttle Discovery when it launches in October.

The "joint announcement from Lucasfilm, the Space Center Houston and Southwest Airlines on Aug. 27" also stated that the weapon will be handed to Nasa officials by Chewbacca, some stormtroopers and "other Star Wars characters".

Pardon me, but wtf does Southwest Airlines have to do with this?

Anyway, this is both a cool thing to the small remaining part of me that hasn't been smothered by Lucas. While at the same time I have to wonder, is this what we've reduced the shuttle missions to? I mean I'm sure there are other events/research/etc. things happening on this mission, but does NASA really need a publicity stunt like this?

Though I still have to ask what the frak Southwest has to do with the whole thing. I also wonder if they'll have a severed hand attached to it...

36 days and counting!

The Avs open their season against the Stars on October 3 at home - a game I plan to be at! I'm excited about this year, I know that last year everyone said we were mediocre. to a point I agree, but I feel that it was a decent year with some decent playing.

I would say that the main reason we didn't do as well as we could was the management and their damned goalie choices. Theodore played in over half of the season, despite extremely poor goal tending. I know Theodore is supposed to be this amazing goalie that we're wasting millions on, but let's look at the stats shall we?

Theodore started 33 games, Budaj started 31. However, Budaj played a total of 3199 minutes to Theodores 1748. This means that Theodore started more games but played almost half the time on the ice. Not really that surprising, since he was pulled almost every game I watched. Yet our "all-wise" coaching staff still feels that he's worth the multi-million dollar deal he has.

To drive the nail further:

1. Budaj has a save percentage of .905, compared to Theodore's - .891
2. Budaj averages 2.68 goals against, Theodore? 3.26

Oh mighty Avalanche coaches, please explain why Budaj isn't our number one, and Theodore is?!?!?

Creepy king

Am I the only one that finds this mascot entirely too creepy?

How does waking up to a creepy, big-headed King in my bed sell burgers?

I'm actually afraid to go to Burger King in case I might run into this thing.

He's even worse animated...

W....T....F

This video was playing at the bar the other night (special dedication to my friend Biz):



What in the name of all that's holy and good?

Phenomenons and odd looks.

In the mid 80s one of my all time favorite shows aired - The Muppet Show. I watched it religiously and plan on getting the series on DVD soon. Anyway, there was one episode that has stuck with me all my life. It was the "Menonmena" muppets (here's the link for the original video) .

Ever since The Muppets show aired these critters I have had a compulsion to sing this song everytime I would hear the word "phenomenon" or anything like it. Going to college for a science degree made this happen a lot. Then Muppets Tonight aired in 1996, and redid the skit with Sandra Bullock. This only worsened my "problem".

Bottom line, I received a lot of strange looks during college. For some reason, people find it odd to sing "do-doo-do-do-dooo" in class , even if it was under my breath. Maybe that's why no one talked to me...

Yoink!

It's kind of long (8+minutes) but worth watching. After watching I have to think the lions are thinking "W...T...F...?!?!?"

Pseudopsychoanalytics and you

Twice over the last couple of days I've heard radio jocks read lists about what various purchases and choices say about you.

Today was what your car says about you. My favorite was in regards to the hybrid car owners. "If you drive a hybrid, you're concerned with the environment and politics". If that's so, why have I seen hybrid drivers flick cigarette butts and trash out the window? It couldn't possibly be that people are more concerned with saving money than the frakking environment, could it?

Yesterday was about what your ringtone says about your personality. Apparently if you use a phone's default ringtone, you're loyal.

Seriously?!? Mine is the theme to Firefly, does that mean that while being well written and amusing, I'm also under-rated by those in charge and I will soon be canceled?

Not only does this seem entirely ridiculous and overly simplistic, but also seem to have been written by Dr. Obvious. Is it news that someone that drives a plain sedan is down to earth? Or a BMW owner likes to flash their money? I was stunned to hear that someone with a classical ringtone is sophisticated.

Do we really need any more proof that psychology is a pseudo-science? I think not, not that my opinion matters - I'm about to be canceled...

A dubious milestone

Yesterday was a first for me. Roland and I went to a local bar for lunch, and stayed for dinner.

That's right true believers, 8 hours sitting at a frakking bar. Today, I feel like death warmed over - and had already made plans to go out tonight.

I'm not saying I'm proud of my first experience at being a barfly, far from it. However it is a milestone that should be shared.

Maybe with enough mocking I'll remember why not to do this again....

Number one

Thanks to Toothygrimm (as he's occasionally called) for this link.


Webbalert.com


It's a video blog of the woman that's a solid number one on my "Laminated Five", Morgan Webb from G4's X-Play. Which, for those that may not know - it's from a Friends episode. Ross makes a laminated list of 5 women he's allowed to sleep with. Basically a list of the top hottest women out there.

For the record, 2 of the 5 spots are in flux. So really no chance I'll post it - waayy too final that way...

Go away scary clown shadow

So this shadow was on the wall last night...

Maybe it's just me, but this is totally a profile of a clown wearing a little hat. I don't know why it's a clown in my mind, it just is. Maybe it's the big nose.

I don't have a particular problem with clowns, but I really didn't need to look up from my book last night and see this.

Of course it went away when I turned the light off.

Or did it? Maybe I'll sleep in the guest room tonight...

Vending goodness

Cities around the world are installing these vending machines. They dispense bicycles. Yep, swipe your card and you can rent a bicycle for a day, tour the city and return it to the nearest machine. The bikes have a RFID tag to prevent theft - for now. I'm sure plans to remove the tag will be online shortly.

Paris, New York and Amsterdam are the latest cities testing out this new idea. Kind of a cool idea if you ask me.

Just be careful when tilting and shaking the machine when your bike gets stuck...

Gaming Giggity-goodness

In this day and age of "next-gen" consoles, the controllers have advanced as much as the graphics engines have. Companies seem to be crawling over each other to make controllers easier or more attractive to use.

E3 2006 introduced the Novint Falcon, an intuitive controller that allows you to move things in cyber space as if you were actually holding it. You hold the arm as if you were shaking someone's hand and can move it in any direction. It has force feedback too, if a ball is supposed to have texture, it vibrates in the right areas. Seems very cool. The only problem seems to be that it was seriously delayed. Now, a year later, you too can own this cutting edge controller - for a mere $189.


Other grips (pistol and such) will ultimately be available. The one that caused me to blog about is this "attachment":
I shouldn't be surprised, it was only a matter of time I suppose. Anything that vibrates naturally lends itself to "private" toys (I swear my Wii controllers are safe), but the hell?


However, this does raise a few questions:

1. What games support this particular controller?
2. Who's got the dexterity with their "joystick" to be able to move an object in three axis?
3. What games support this?
   
4. Unless it mounts to the bottom of the desk, can you think of a good position to use this?
5. Is there danger of electrocution? (this may be a good thing for some)
   
6. Seriously, which games support this?

I suppose it may be a good way to get your girlfriend/wife into gaming...

Centauri Sings!

Last night I endured my annual night of the Shakespeare Festival in Boulder. That's not to say I don't enjoy Shakespeare, sometimes. I just get tired of the same frelling plot lines and devices.

Anyway, we say As You Like It and the actress that played Helen has also starred in The Last Starfighter: The Musical.

My original thought was W...T...F???

When I got home I Googled it and it's apparently a good show (at least received a number of good reviews). Now, I like the movie, it holds a dear place in my childhood. However, I still have to ask, what makes someone think that The Last Starfighter would make a good musical?!?! It made me start to think about other movies that I love from my childhood.

They Live? Robocop? Scanners? Ice Pirates?!?!

I really liked The Thing, but I can't begin to imagine it as a musical...would it have a tentacled, singing dog???

Syndication on the road

Direct TV has announced this very cool TV.

It's fully satellite capable and completely portable. Finally I can watch my Fresh Prince of Bel Aire while I'm camping.

No word on battery power or actual reception capabilities. Or for that matter ease of setup - I can tell you setting up regular satellite TV is a pain in the rear.

Interesting side note: apparently the inventor of this technology also created CHiPs! Now that's a man that's changed the world!

Now I just need a portable couch...

Once you go black...

I love Netflix, I have spent hours clicking through movies to rate them. This supposedly helps the site determine appropriate movies you may be interested in, However, Netflix really needs to work on their suggestion scripts.

For example, I really liked Tuskegee Airmen. This apparently means I love any and all black experience movies. Not that I don't like the genre, but Juwanna Man?!?! White Chicks?!? No thanks.

Same thing applies to Anime, I liked Akira and Princess Mononoke. This does not mean I'm interested in every Pokemon or Thomas the Tank Engine movie ever made.

Makes me think twice about giving Brokeback Mountain or The Birdhouse a good rating.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Dubious marketing

I hate spam, just like everyone else. I can't imagine that people are dumb enough to actually respond and purchase things because an email told them it was a great deal.

We get a ton of spam at the shop, since our email has to be on our website, it gets farmed - a lot. So everyday is spent sifting through claims of larger "units", cheap viagra, hot tips on the stock market, not to mention the gazillion ads for porn.

Today I came across an email with the subject line "My boyfriend's member is too large to fit in my mouth." This has to be written by a woman, because I don't think there's a man alive that would think that's a good thing.

Again, who's buying this crap???

Gotta love it.

I love when skater punks eat it. Although, hopefully he wasn't hurt too much.

They're watching...

Harvard scientists have developed a spy robot that's literally the size of a fly.

Israeli scientists are working on a wasp sized drone that are able to chase, photograph and kill its targets.

Berkeley researchers are working on a insectile drone that they hope can be used by firefighters to look for survivors in building wreckage - pretty cool stuff.

Although, pretty scary stuff at the same time. Big Brother really doesn't need more tools. I suppose I'll just have to become better at fly-swatting.

It's enough to make someone paranoid...

Cuz it's true

and cuz it's me:

Courtesy of Cyanide & Happiness...

Customer quote of the month

I know it's early August, but I'm sure this is the best one I'll hear this month:


Customer, "Hi, (employee X) put a dive watch on 72 hour hold for me."
Me, "OK, what's your name and I'll go get it."

Minutes of checking through all our storage space.

Me, "I'm sorry, I'm not seeing it up here. When did he say he would hold it for you?"
Customer, "About a month ago."

Me, "You know that's 72 consecutive hours, right?"

OK, I didn't actually say the last, but I wanted to. Ya gotta love customer relations...

Letter to George and Steven

Dear sirs,

Please don't let the next Indiana movie blow chunks. While both of you have destroyed some of my fondest childhood memories, Indiana remains pure and untarnished - please let it remain so.

I almost want to ask you to just let the series remain peacefully dead. My remaining inner child (the parts that haven't been ripped apart and forced to accept film "reimagining" in the name of cheap marketing ploys, huge plot holes, retarded dialogue and political statements), would like to hope that Indy IV will be as fun and exciting as the others. However, my rational adult side knows that you'll smother that small, eager child with your wet pillow of arrogance.

I know that this series falls under the same category as Star Wars & E.T., i.e. your "original visions", but you screwed those up and I can't help but feel Indy is close on Han & E.T.'s tails.

That being said, I am happy to hear that Karen Allen is reprising her role as Marion. Which is kinda cool. So I suppose there's a legitimate reason to hope for the best.

Of course that just leads to a higher sense of disappointment...