Cheesy Fruit

Every Tuesday a few friends and I hit a local bar for "Pint Night". It's cheap beer and "guy time" that we all enjoy.

Anyway, this drink was served to one of the off duty servers. The bartender was messing with her, but it turned into quite the fruit salad/drink. It included a total of 10 pieces of fruit, all on top of a fruity drink.

The most disturbing part would have to be her adding cheese to the drink. Ok not really "adding", but she did go grab a slice of American Cheese to "enjoy" with the drink.

She's a bit odd....

Drowning In Absurdity

After a long day of travelling back to the states, I have noticed a few things about my fellow travellers. There are a lot of stupid people out there (a shocking discovery I know). I don't mean those that don't travel a lot and are simply unaware of certain things. I can live with them, there's a lot of BS rules out there that travelers have to abide with. Most of which don't actually increase security, just make us "feel" that we're safer. But I digress...

On our final flight home there was a passenger that had a serious shortage of common sense. He was the only person I've seen on a plane get out of his seat during landing. I'm not saying that he got up after the steward made the "We're now landing" announcement. Oh, no. This Midvale grad stood up and started to get his baggage out of the overhead compartment about 2 minutes before we touched down. He even had the nerve to look shocked that the steward politely yelled at him, and made it all worse by leaving one of the overhead compartments open when he decided to sit back down. Is it me or is this more than simple ignorance of airline procedures? Does this sound rational to anybody out there that hasn't flown or is this just plain stupidity?

The security line is my favorite source of airport humor. I always get a kick out of watching people herded through the lines and told over and over to comply in various ways. If you haven't been at DIA for a while, they've borrowed from the ski slopes in an attempt to make the lines go smoother. They now have a "Black Diamond" lane that is for those that travel regularly and are aware of the security procedures. Theoretically this makes that line move faster for more experienced travelers. I'm by no means an expert traveler, but I know what to take out of my bags, what to take off and what not to have in my carry-on bags. Even so, I was hesitant to use the line, call it a little case of self doubt. There was one lady however, that apparently thought she qualified. Of course she had to be stopped four times for various things like taking her shoes off and trying to take a bottle of water in, just to name a couple. It was pretty apparent she either was too stupid to see the huge ass black diamond sign that explained who should use that line or too stupid to remember what the security rules are.

My verdict for both people is guilty. Both are too stupid to travel. Or course it could just be I was irritable from a 20+ hour travel day...

Bar table-side sobriety

Tonight I grabbed a quick beer with Snarky before my trip tomorrow. There was a table that had a young fellow that was obviously celebrating something.

He was getting very drunk, and the more he drank to more he insisted he was sober. He even went so far as to show everyone how "100% un-drunk" he was by heel-toeing a line. Quite poorly I might add, not a very convincing act.

What sealed the deal was his 10 table side push ups. You might ask, how do push ups show that you aren't drunk (we certainly did)? If anything that proves that he was "100% un-un-drunk."

For the record I don't think he was driving, there was at least one friend that didn't drink.

Anyway, that's the news and I am OUTTA here!

See you folks in a week.

Drugged out

A few mights ago I started (and finished) a book recommended to me by my mother. It's called The Pandora Prescription, by James Sheridan. It's a book that supposedly went through a lot of banning troubles before it was published. I say supposedly because there's a lot of talk that the "banning" was merely a publicity stunt. While I can see this, it doesn't diminish the facts the book presents. I was told that the book was originally a non-fiction book that no one would publish. In order to get publishing, the author rewrote it as a fictional story. What I find interesting as that googling the book pulls a lot of sites that have been suspended or removed. However, this is possibly part of the "publicity stunt".

The book is about a medical conspiracy that's been happening for over 50 years. A compound called Laetrile was developed in the mid-1950s that showed promise of being an effective treatment for cancer. Laetrile is a processed version of a substance found in fruit seeds, namely apricots. This leads the pharmaceutical companies to cover it up, since no one can patent a fruit seed, and no money can be made from it.

The book is interesting (which led me to read it in one night), but not well written. The facts that are presented are very thought provoking, which is the main point of this post. It's painfully obvious though, that the book was meant to be non-fictional. The characters and writing are extremely forced. It's also apparent that the publishing house is in desperate need of a editor that knows English as their primary language. Many times I'd have to reread a sentence because it didn't make sense, only to realize a couple of key words were missing. There were misspellings, spaces missing between words and improper punctuation. If this was truly meant as a fictional adventure, I'd have burned the book. However, all of these "mistakes" lend more credibility to the facts presented. Again, it was obviously meant to be a different book.

And now for my rant. The cancer industry employs more people than that have or die from cancer. It's a multi billion dollar industry. It's no wonder that they would want a "magic bullet" cure covered up. The pharmaceutical industry is the leading powerhouse behind most cancer "research". Which seems like a conflict of interest to me, if cancer is cured, that's a huge chunk of most pharmaceutical companies income. What CEO would lose sleep over a few million deaths if it meant a higher profit margin for themselves and their stockholders? Not many.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a true conspiracy nut. I do, however, think it's naive to take the government at it's word. The FDA and AMA are constantly under fire for shady practices, and it wouldn't surprise me in the least that they're heavily influenced by pharmaceutical companies. When was the last time you watched TV (without Tivo Dr H) and didn't see an ad for some miracle drug or another? Cholesterol drugs have been shown for a while to cause more damage than they help, yet there are half a dozen different cholesterol drugs marketed to us every night.

The bottom line is that while I can't say that I believe everything that this book presents, I believe a lot of it. Just like the oil companies, the pharmaceutical cartel doesn't care about fixing us. It's about selling a drug that covers up the symptoms, that also happen to cause other "side effects" that can be "fixed" with more drugs. BRILLIANT!

End of rant, thank you for your time...

Musical Blogs

I know this is a few days old, and a lot of more internet news savvy people probably already know this, but it's cool to me because I just found out.

Joss Whedon is creating a web based super hero musical. It's called Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog. He started it during the writer's strike and it sounds like it's done. I have no idea when it is planned to be "aired", but I'm looking forward to it. Hell I'd look forward to Joss making a webisode of slugs frakking.

What makes this even better is Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion have been cast in this web musical.

Cyber suit up!

A Good Kind of show

The series of books I'm presently reading is apparently being picked up to be a TV series by ABC/Disney. It's a long series (eleven books) by and I've enjoyed it so far (Snarky, you'd like it). Plus I have the satisfaction of it being completed. The most recent book, Confessor was released last November.

Anyway, Sam Raimi is going to direct it and it's been greenlit for 22 episodes. Both are good things, so I should be excited. Should be. What makes me hesitant is that it's been picked up by CBS/Disney. It's not exactly a Disney type of book, what with the raping, betrayal, murder and such. So I find myself worried that it's going to be Disney-fied to the level of pure suckage.

Roland, please tell me I'm wrong to be nervous. Puhleeez?

PSA

Here's a link sent from a friend. It's the American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention.

Here I thought doctors were the third leading cause of death for the average male, was wrong, it's from velociraptor attacks. You never can be too careful, check this site for important tips to anti-raptor your house.

OK, I'll admit it. I felt I should post something since it's almost been a week, and I had nothing else...

Scary condiments

At the bar last night, Jackal pointed out how disturbing this is (not the best picture):

Isn't "Real Mayonnaise" made with eggs? Of course, any condiment that doesn't need refrigeration scares me.

I should also add that Jackal immediately proceeded to gloop this "mayo" all over his burger without batting an eye. Which is his call I suppose, I hear salmonella is all the rage now...

Corneal Crysis

A few days ago I finished Crysis, the game with the infamous "eye-bleeding" graphics from Crytek. Sure enough, that's the game's strongest aspect, the graphics. Since I don't have near the hardware needed to play this game in the high setting (yet), I missed out on the truly impressive effects. However, even my meager medium settings were enough to stun me.

The game begins on the shore of an island (ala Far Cry) and I spent a good 15 minutes looking around without moving. The moon casts shadows, the water was spectacular and the sky and clouds were among the most realistic I've seen in a game. That's not to mention the environmental interactions, you can shoot leaves off the trees or even chase crabs or fish.

After my eyes adjusted to the retina-blistering prettiness I started actually playing the game. I noticed right away that the AI had two levels. Sometimes they enemy soldiers had the irritating ability to see you from across the map, and of course these same eagle-eyed soldiers happened to be expert marksmen. Other times I could snipe a soldier while his buddy standing next to him would continue to enjoy his Marlboro Red. At one point I shot one that was having a conversation with a fellow recruit. The soldier watched his buddy lose the top part of his head, looked around a little then almost seemed to shrug before he casually turned to walk away (at which point I capped his unsympathetic ass too).

The levels are very open ended. While you need to accomplish certain things, your objectives can be accomplished in a number of different ways. This could be a good point, but also tends to be a drawback. Some maps are a bit too open ended. I won't even get into the alien ship levels that have you floating in space like a grocery bag in a Kevin Spacey movie.

Finally I must agree with Yahtzee in his assessment of the part of the game that you "get" to fly a dropship. My (and Ash's) theory is that the developers simply couldn't get the flying to work well. So they had the writers write in an "accident" that causes the dropship to be "damaged", thus fixing the problem and causing poor saps like myself to pound their keyboards into oblivion with frustration. Gorram "design elements"....

Stephen Parking

It's been a while since I parked at the Pavilions downtown. A few nights ago I parked in the underground structure for the previously mentioned Bowling/Art show.

The Pavilions has recently given up on hiring live parking attendants in favor of an automated one. I suppose this makes sense, you don't need to pay anyone and it HAS to help with getting out after a movie.

What I found interesting was the voice they chose for the machine. Steven Hawking is apparently supplementing his income by selling his distinctive electronic voice.

OK, I know it's probably the standard computer voice that a lot of machines have, Mr. Hawking's included, but I found it amusing. Of course it was more amusing than it should have been after the beer at the aforementioned bowling alley.

Bowling Nouveau

Saturday night I met some friends at Lucky Strikes downtown, an "upscale" bowling alley. Basically it's your average bowling alley, that's been spruced up so they can charge a small fortune to bowl.

We weren't bowling, but we were playing some expensive pool, and having a good time with it - despite my raw suckage. At some point in the night they started showing the work of various artists on all of the screens. Here's an example of the "art" that was shown. It's a tad blurry due to my crappy cell phone camera (and maybe the 6 or so beers at that point).

Ignoring that fact that most of the art was pure crap, why would a bowling alley show art rather than ESPN, or some other sports-related thing? Here's a ground breaking idea, how about showing music videos! I understand that they're trying to be more exclusive than your average Colfax bowling alley, but come on. Does a crappy drawing of a Norelco Razor really add to the ambiance of a bowling alley?

Customer Quote of the Month - March

Customer on the Phone, "I have some questions about getting certified to SCUBA dive."

Me, "OK, what can I answer for you?."

Here we'll skip the mundane conversation of cost and schedules of classes.

After a pause, CotP asks, "Do you have to know how to swim?"

Me, "Well, you are under the water, so it's a good idea."

CotP, "Oh, because I'm terrified of the water and hate fish. Do you think that's going to be a problem?"

Me, "Did I mention that you are under the water? And you do realize the ocean has fish everywhere, right?"

Do arachnaphobes look for places to roll around in thousands of spiders? Is it wise for an acraphobe to learn how to skydive or a coulrophobe to jump into a pool of clowns?

(I love phobias...)