You're joking

After seeing the preview for the upcoming Spiderwick Chronicles, I decided to check out the books. I didn't really feel like owning the series, so I started to listen to the audio book.

The books are read by Mark Hamill, and he does an excellent job. If you've ever watched the Batman cartoons, you know what a great voice actor he is. This fits perfectly with the theme of the book, every goblin, hobgoblin, elf, troll and brownie has a distinct voice. It's been a blast, Mark Hamill obviously had a good time reading it - which shows.

As far as what I thought of the book(s), they were entertaining if not spectacular. Much like the Unfortunate Events series, it's a kids series that has a little for adults too.

Now I'm curious how the movies will ruin the books...

Holiday Cheer

A few days ago, neither my wife nor I felt like cooking so we grabbed Noodles & Company. Before going to the restaurant we also stopped and got a couple of smoothies from a local juice place.

Anyway, my wife walked to the counter and set her smoothie on the edge of the counter. Before I could catch it it fell off and splattered everywhere. Now I don't know how many of you have bought smoothies lately, but it's about a $6 drink, kinda a bummer. After helping the staff clean it up I started to head back to buy her another smoothie.

Another customer waiting for his take out saw the whole thing and commented "That really sucks." He then dug in his pocket and handed me a coupon for a free meal at Noodles & Co. I was actually a little stunned and tried to argue. He simply waved off my protests with a "Merry Christmas!"

I was able to use the coupon right then, which was pretty cool. While my wife waited for the food, I went back to get her another smoothie and the employee there refused to charge me for the replacement.

Basically both of these great people restored a little of my faith in humanity and some holiday cheer. I am now looking for opportunities to pay it forward.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Medieval Malarky

A while back a friend (AKA Enabler Smurf) let me borrow his Xbox 360 in exchange for trying out Assassins Creed. After renting it I liked it enough to pick it up. As of today I'm over half way through the game and I've amended my opinion a tad.

I still really like the game, it has a lot of potential. The basic concept is excellent, and the storyline is intriguing. There is a slight twist, but I won't disclose it here - some might find that a bit spoilerific.

The things I like about the game are many. When you get to a city with a target's name, you have no idea where, who or what the target is. You need to complete a certain number of investigations in order to find out about your assigned target. It's a lot of fun to go about the city pickpocketing, eavesdropping and other various tasks to learn about the habits of the target. You can blend with other city folk to avoid guards, and by "blending" I mean walk very, very slowly with your head lowered. The most impressive part is that the vast cities are 100% explorable. Every building in the city can be climbed up, in, around and sometimes through.

Combat has potential, but can be very frustrating. While you do learn moves as the game progresses, some are less than user friendly. The "Combo Kill" is especially difficult, impossible even. The other moves, work about half the time. While this may have something to do with my elder reflexes, I'd like to think that at least a small part is the game's poor combo system.

Speaking of guards, the city's security force is apparently recruited from the Midvale School for the Gifted. I have run past them to start climbing a wall with nothing but a "Cheerio and good luck". Other times I have been attacked for standing in the street. To evade the chasing guards all you have to do is turn a corner and jump into a pile of hay (which were apparently very common in medieval cities) or rooftop stands with curtains in the windows. I've seen the guards chase me to these stands and then wonder where I've gone.

Like I mentioned, the investigation part is fun. Unfortunately, it's fun at the beginning and less so as the game progresses. After the fourth or fifth race to collect flags for an informant, I'm ready to stab myself in the eye with my very own secret blade.

Bottom line is that the game is great in many, many ways, but less so in a few. Overall the pros outweigh the cons, so it's definetely worth a shot. Just don't get me started on the frakking beggar women...

A very naughty breadbasket.

To those I missed saying it to, Happy Christmas (feel free to replace the last word with whatever holiday you feel like).

Every Christmas Eve NORAD tracks Santa's progress around the world. I used to listen to the radio and TV updates religiously as a kid. NORAD has decided to go virtual and created a web applet that does the same thing, but interactive. Monday night my cousin's kids were very serious about checking where Santa was. They got VERY excited when he made it to the Eastern Coast, though I don't remember what city it was.

In any case the map showed him skipping Algeria completely, which I found interesting. Interesting enough that I searched backwards to see where else he skipped. Apparently Iraq doesn't have any kids worth bringing presents to. Same went for Mongolia, Manitoba, Egypt, Mozambique, plus some others.

The strangest part was that he skipped 5 US states. North and South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas & Oklahoma. What the hell did the Midwest do to piss of Santa?

Red Ring madness

So my "pusher" Ash lent me his Xbox 360 to try Assassins Creed (which I like and hate, but I'll talk about that later), and he also wanted to pick up Rock Band. I picked up Rock Band for him on Friday and we broke it open that night. We had a great time playing it until the wee hours of the morning (4am-ish).

Anyway, after playing it all night Friday night, and then playing it some Saturday night things were looking fine.

Last night I went to play it and the frakking thing gave me the "Red Ring of Death". So here I am with my friends broken Xbox and a useless Rock Band game. For a while I was thinking I'd be buying him a new Xbox for Christmas, UGH.

Well after unplugging everything and turning it back on, everything was OK - apparently there are multiple "Red Rings of Death", varying from "unplug and reboot" to "You now have a $400 doorstop". After looking into it today I even found people that have found a "fix" for the latter. Bsically you cover it with some towels, let it overheat, turn it off and VOILA! Reparo.

Microsoft sucks...

Modding madness

I know the original XBox is basically a dead console and I also know that modding Scions is becoming quite a hobby.

I suppose it was only a matter of time before someone put the two together. Introducing the XBox Scion.

Someone figured out how to install a modded XBox into the console of a Scion. While strange, it does seem to me to be the only way to make a Scion cool. If you can't tell the pic on the right is the power buttons for the XBox installed into the center console.

Some people have too much time and money...

Technosink

This faucet is probably the coolest I've seen in a while. Perfect for those that want their sinks to dispense blood.

It lights the water either red or blue - based on the water temperature.

No more trying to decipher that confusing "H" or "C" on your faucets...

Worth Every penny

A friend sent me this Ebay Auction with the tag line of "Best Auction EVER".

I'd have to agree. Basically the guy is going to some small town in Poland for the holidays. He's going to send 3 postcards to the winner's victim of choice with random, insane rantings about cantaloupe and ferrets (Good band name BTW). The kicker will be that the seller will have a few details about the victim - enough to make him our her drive themselves crazy trying to figure out who they know that's in Poland.

I would have bid on it, but the current bid is $400 - a bit out of my pranking budget.

Thus the blogging about it...

Suck it George

Thanks to my enabler Ash for this link:

It's a Star Wars fan movie that puts Lucas to shame (not that he has any).



Here's the link to the original movie without subtitles. If you want to see the rest of Volume I with subtitles, youtube them or get them here.

Homemade Harmonix Hero Help

Need another Guitar Hero Controller? Don't have an extra $50?

Giant Walrus to the rescue (with the help of instructables.com)! Here you go - step by step instructions to build your own.

Of course it looks like it would cost you a lot more than the real controller...

Pointless link of the month

Found this on Digg.com, and I have nothing to say about this site....

Seriously, I got nothing...

Sizing Issues

Here at the shop we just got some new sweatshirts that are pretty cool. They're targeted to women as an after warm-up jacket for after the dive, but that's not really important.

What makes me post about them is their sizing. the available sizes are "Smallest", "Smaller", "Small", "Most", "Big", "Bigger" and "Biggest".

That seems strangely insulting for a jacket marketed to women. Who's going to feel good about buying the "Biggest" size? Or, for that matter, anything over "Most".

That's brilliant, make your target group feel horrible about their purchase...

The very bad Dr H.

My friend told me about the next Terry Brooks series The Genesis of Shannara. It links the Word/Void series to the Shannara series. What he failed to tell me was that it's a series in progress.

So now I've read the first only to find out that the second of the series has just been released. So basically Dr Heimlich is a very bad man. Especially considering that Terry Brooks loves mid trilogy cliffhanger endings.

On a brighter note, I started The Sword of Truth series a few months ago by Terry Goodkind. I went into this one knowing it's an eleven book series (unfinished at the time). I'm happy to announce that the last book Confessor, was just released. I really enjoyed the first book Wizard's First Rule, enough so that I would have recommended it but couldn't at the time. I now can do so with a clear conscience since the series is now complete.

Bad DrHeimlich, BAD!!!

Tuxedoed Vultures

Last night we went to a company christmas pasrty. It was a very nice one, 3 course meal and everything.

What made it a tad uncomfortable (other than my lack of knowing more than 2 people) was that the servers were almost too attentive.

The second the salad was finished, the plate disappeared. While this level of service is great when you need something, it was a tad disconcerting to have the servers circling the table.

I mean that literally too. At one point of the servers did two and a half laps around our table, before heading to the next one. Ever try to eat with a stranger looking over your shoulder?

It was a little wierd...

Wonderful shadow bunnies

A link sent to me by a coworker:



And wow, I have a hard time making a shadow puppet of a hand...

Seasonal Spirit

We had our first real snowfall last night, and I'm sad to say that I'm already sick of it.

Not because I don't like shoveling (I actually hate it - though at least it can be decent excercise), but because people become retarded on the roads. Driving wouldn't be bad if everyone drove the same. The problem is you get 3 types of drivers. The worst are the people that have never seen snow (or act like it driving), and slow down to 2.3 mile an hour because there's some snow on the side of the frakking road. Only slightly less annoying are the drivers that have never seen the snow, but have a 4 wheel drive, which gives them the confidence to drive 100 miles an hour past everyone else. Of course these people, more often than not, give me a chuckle later down the road (as I talked about last year). Finally there's drivers like me, who drive perfectly in the snow (I know I just jinxed myself - notice to all of my friends with trucks, I will be calling you this season to pull me out)!

Now today I'll cut them a little more slack, but the thing that amazes me the most is how spacial relations disappear. I can't be the only one that knows about where the sidewalk is - why does everyone drive down the middle of a 4 lane road?

What about parking lots? Do people really forget that the parking spaces are just wider than their car, not 20 feet wide? Whether there's snow or not, I know that when I park next to another car there should be just enough room to open the door, not enough room for half a car.

Anyway, that's the end of my yearly winter rant, and now for something completely different:

For a good holiday laugh call:
(413) 241-2498

Pride of Maruchan

A Japanese survey taken in 2000 asked people to list the greatest inventions of the 20th century.

What was the number one invention? Computers? Robots? Velcro? Game consoles? Microchips? Space travel?

Nope, Ramen. Yep, the 35 cent packages that helped us all get through college, THAT'S the most important invention of the century. Apparently penicillin has nothing on a pack of noodles.

Runners-up were the Walkman and frakking karaoke.

Seriously? KARAOKE?!?!?! Although it does make me both curious and afraid of what the answer would be in America - Big Macs ?

These aren't the pirates you're looking for...

A while back, Dr Heimlich beat me to posting about this cool video game reviewer (damn you!!!). While it's a cool site, one of the reviews is about Psychonauts, a little known X-Box game from Doublefine Productions. Doublefine is staffed by the best game developers that Lucasarts let go a number of years ago. They were the one's that created such masterpieces as Monkey Island, Full Throttle, Sam & Max Hit the Road, Day of the Tentacle. These were, arguably, the best games Lucasarts ever developed (OK, there are a few Star Wars games - but more often than not, Lucas arts released pure crap hoping it would do well because it was a Star Wars game. Super Bombad Racing anyone?).

Anyway, it made me think about a list of my Top 10 favorite video games of all time. So here we go:

• 10) Galaga - It wouldn't be a complete list if there wasn't at least one arcade game - and this one is easily my favorite.
• 9) Doom - Not that great now, but it helped start the FPS genre. To clarify I'm talking about the original, not Doom 3.
• 8) Zork I - Some of my best gaming memories are of sitting in front of our AT&T computer playing this text based adventure - Good times, good times.
  
• 7) Wing Commander - Actually I loved this whole series. We were blown away when you could get the Speech Pack for WC II - No more reading while flying!! Total crap movie, but great game series, Mark Hamill in full motion video and all!
• 6) Half-Life - This game took FPS gaming to the next level. Impressive graphics, intelligent enemies and a spiffy new physics engine (I know Drheimlich, I know), made this an amazing experience.
• 5) Sam & Max: Hit the Road - One of the most amusing games I've played. The twisted humor made this a winner for me. It even made me play it multiple times - even though I knew the solutions to everything.
• 4) X-wing - This was the first time you could actually fly an X-wing (plus all the other fighters from the movies). The story of the game covered stealing the Death Star Plans to the all out assault of it. I almost peed myself the first time I flew against Darth Vader.
• 3) Psychonauts - This quirky game has the same humor as Sam & Max and Monkey Island, but in a platforming game. The gameplay was fun, but it was the characters, storyline and setting that truly makes this game a favorite.
• 2) Starcraft - One of the few RTS games that I can still sit and play with friends for hours. Plus, I'm not the only one - the game has sold over 10 million copies, not bad for a game that's almost 9 years old.
• 1) The Monkey Island Series - I know that this is actually 4 games, but it's my list dammit. These games are the best games that Lucasarts had to offer. Good old Guybrush Threepwood and his nemesis Le Chuck kept me up many a night. Pirates, interesting puzzles, pirates and some of the funniest moments I've ever had while gaming easily make this number one. Insult Sword fighting anyone?
  

Runners Up:
Myst, Full Throttle, Counter Strike and Okami.

So there you have it, not that anyone really cares. Still, it was fun going back down memory lane. I have to wonder how many cumulative hours I've wasted sitting in front of a monitor or TV.

On second thought I don't think I want to know...

Flying Monkey Piracy

A couple of nights ago I picked up Zach & Wiki: The Quest for Barbaros' Treasure. The reviews have all been good and I was curious.

Turns out that I'm glad I did. The first night My wife and I played it for about 5 hours, which I took as a good sign that I like the game. It's an adventure game, something that I've been missing. It's been too long since I enjoyed some point and click adventure goodness. It also reminded me that this is my favorite gaming genre, but that's beside the point.

Zach is a member of the Sea Rabbits, a notorious band of pirates. Wiki is a flying monkey thing that helps Zach with his adventures. The first chest he finds releases the golden skull of the renowned pirate Barabaros. in exchange for helping him reassemble his body, Barabaros agrees to point Zach to all of his treasure holds. It's quirky, cute and a lot of fun.

The puzzles are well thought out, and are challenging when they should be. Each problem has multiple solutions, which allows for a lot of experimenting. The more creative the solution the more points you get.

The other thing that makes this game fun is the use of the Wii remote. Like Warioware, the use of the remote mimics the actions in the game - to use a saw you making a sawing motion, need to ring a bell? Shake the remote like a bell.

If you're looking for something entertaining and different for your Wii, this is a good bet. Just be sure to secure that strap - the music mini game is a bitch!

Puzzley goodness

So for all those math and puzzle geeks out there, here's a site that does a weekly math puzzle.

Some aren't so hard - others I had to do it a couple of times (speaks to my math skills eh?)

Oh, and a quick tip:

Don't attempt them in a bar after a few beers. That increases the difficulty by a lot. I also wouldn't attempt them while at the aforementioned bar while a gaggle of cute servers are sitting with you - makes you look like a bit of a geek.

Not that I need help with that...

A good friend would help.

I have had this frakking song stuck in my head for a few days now. I want to kill myself at this point, so I'm asking for some help.

They say that the best way to get a song out of your head is to pass it along to someone else.

Any volunteers? Go ahead click the link - I Triple Dog Dare ya...

Customer Quote of the Month - December

Customer walking in the store, "Hi, I haven't been in a dive shop for years."

Me, "Well feel free to walk around. Are you going anywhere exciting soon?"

CWitS, "No, I just came in to see if you knew where an Ace Hardware is."

Me, "Um...down the street and around the corner."

CWitS, "Thanks." CWitS then leaves the store.

I then double check our sign to make sure it doesn't say "Scuba, Snorkeling and Local Store Information."